Tagged: Leaving
- This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 3 weeks ago by StrongLife.
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24th January 2024 at 10:11 pm #165517Stitchears10Participant
My husband has been emotionally abusive and controlling for the last (detail removed by moderator) I am considering leaving and have started making plans to go. However I feel really sorry for him! He grew up in care, his family have all but disowned him, his friends don’t bother with him and I’m basically all he has and the children. I love him but don’t like him. I can’t go on like this so am going to leave. I feel really sorry for him though. It’s so hard and I’m worried this will stop me making the move I need to do.
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24th January 2024 at 10:50 pm #165522AnonymousInactive
I grew up in care I didn’t have my parents around but the difference is I knew how that made me feel , I knew I never wanted anyone to feel how that made me feel .I knew I was better than my parents and knew I could never hurt anyone the way my parents hurt me.
Your past does not define you,doesn’t give anyone the excuse to hurt anyone especially those we claim to love.
You feel sorry for him bcos he is using his past as a crutch and wanting sympathy .please do what is best for you bcos he will always come up with something to make you feel guilty or at fault.
Am sorry if I sound blunt .I don’t mean to be .-
25th January 2024 at 7:11 am #165532browneyedmumParticipant
I don’t think that was blunt… I think that was very well said as a person who’s grown up in care. xX you both!
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25th January 2024 at 8:11 am #165534Stitchears10Participant
That wasn’t blunt. You’re right. I want my children to grow up away for the toxicity he brings to our home. Just torn at the moment between my heart and my head.
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25th January 2024 at 8:36 am #165535spiritedawayParticipant
I don’t have personal experience of this but I just wanted to say THIS, THIS is exactly why you are all amazing people, amazing caring people, saying the things that need to be said from a place of knowledge and delivered with care and support. I am so grateful for you all.
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9th February 2024 at 8:42 pm #165981StrongLifeParticipant
I protected him from his own lies. It’s just something I did automatically in the end. So many lies – it was nearly every sentence.
It’s automatic. I too at times felt sorry for him but I was doing things for myself for the first time and making plans for life without him. Regardless, even if I was with him. I had left the relationship. It was more of being trapped and investigating leaving.
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