Why do they never leave you alone -unwanted contact

[Thistle06]

Hi I cannot seem to get my ex to leave me alone.
How do I stop him – I don’t want the emails, the anger , the temper and the attempts to control me. Now he has another life in another area he keeps bullying me to have the children during his time. I have been reasonable but it never stops – changes to times, changes to dates mainly not having his kids. I cannot cannot keep doing it. So I have started to say no. Then I get hit with his rage. I was told a child arrangement would sort me out.
I had a session with a mediator who was f*****g useless. What is the point of them – I’m sitting there crying about being bullied by him and coerced into mediation (he (detail removed by moderator) when I collected the children , scaring them and it stopped when I said yes) and she’s there saying (detail removed by moderator).

Would it look bad if I dont do mediation and we end up in court? I am so frightened of that. But I dont want mediation its going to fail it has before so what has changed?

[Mellow]

You don’t have to do mediation you can refuse on grounds of abuse !

[Mellow]

It’s a choice and yes a waste of money in my opinion if you have been abused and a way for them to manipulate get a letter from support work saying you been abused to show court

[Mellow]

What did you do in mediation ?just want to know what they say please.

[Mellow]

Can you p.m me what happened due to your privacy settings can’t read it from mods

[Lifebegins]

Hi Thistle06

I agree mediation is (detail removed by moderator)! I did it to sort out a number of issues and I was desperate not to go to court but it didn’t sort out any, gave him an opportunity to do his crazy making, mediator wasn’t equipped to deal with him and we ended up in court anyway. So when he threatened me to go for shared custody (which was a laugh as he couldn’t stick to the pattern in place and was the pattern he had actually requested)and said he wanted to go to mediation again. I said no way. (detail removed by moderator). You do not have to go to mediation if there is domestic abuse – and there are various options of evidence that you can supply of DA to the court. So you can say no to mediation, provide your evidence and it won’t be viewed negatively by the court.

He may then not bother, my ex didn’t but that is a whole other story. It’s the threat they want to use and when you say fill your boots mate, I’m willing and able to go to court instead, then they may not want to bother. as a precaution, as I was being supported by WA, I got a letter from them to say mediation was not appropriate but I never used it nor did he know about it. I also wrote down every occasion he let my child down and didn’t have them as per the schedule he actually requested. I wanted to show the court the only reason for his requesting a child arrangement order was to cause trouble for me and he wasn’t even keeping to the lesser schedule in place never mind increased contact.

Also, do you have a non-mol in place? If so, report abusive emails. If not I would think about getting one if you’re getting abusive emails and facing anger. IT’s scary applying for it, but it’s worth it. I agree with you saying no to changes. I started to do the same. They hate it as you’re not letting them control you.

I’m with you Thistle06, years of court and legal battles. Hard to keep going but I hope we give each other strength xx sending you a virtual hug 🤗 xx

[Ricepudding]

Hi why is it when I’ve finished work and I walk to my car start the engine and just take a moment to breathe. I just want to sit for just a moment. No he has to pull up next to me and start waving. He says he was just passing what down a cul-de-sac. My moment to just be myself and breath was robbed yet again.

[Author]

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