Why do they treat the other women do good?

[Louloubee]

Ok so he had an affair I took him back stupid I know he hounded me really so I gave in… I don’t think he actually wanted me he just felt bad and wanted to make himself feel better…don’t think he actually cares about me or he wouldn’t of cheated in the first place bare in mind this isn’t the first time I’ve caught him lol I have to laugh or I’ll cry!!!! So we got back buy I may aswell be invisible!? He litterally makes no effort with me . We don’t go out we don’t plan nothing … It’s always he can’t be bothered or tomorrow which btw never comes! Yet I saw the texts to the other women and he was very persistent . Begging to see them offered to take one to a hotel!!! But I always say fancy a night away and it’s no!!! So I ended it but it’s just mind games now… Just thinking maybe he just thinks IM ugly and fat I don’t get it? Why? Anyone help? I feel so down

[KIP.]

I’m sure he treated you this way in the beginning. It’s how they hook in their victims. Once you’re hooked you get to see the real nasty person he is. It’s the cycle of abuse or honeymoon period x

[maddog]

You are allowing him in. You are not unloveable so please put that one out of your mind! Please make contact with Women’s Aid and if you don’t get through, they’ll call you back.

For the record, my ex is behaving with his new girlfriend in exactly the same way he behaved with me. Poor woman.

There is loads of useful stuff on youtube about domestic abuse, (detail removed by moderator) and how abusers behave.

It takes a massive step to leave an abuser. While he’s off shag£ing, you have an opportunity to get your ducks in a row. Keep a diary of all his behaviour, start putting money away, pack a bag and leave it somewhere safe. Make sure you hold all your important documents (birth certificate, driving licence etc). I’ve found the sound on the video on my phone is better than the sound recording thing.

Your partner’s behaviour belongs only to him. You have the opportunity to work through this. He can’t do that. He will continue in his trail of destruction until he is stopped. You need to start protecting yourself. You will get there.

[fizzylem]

Because he got what he wanted without needing to pay for a hotel; and because he got you back so no more effort is required – its back to normal in his eyes. Glad to hear you’ve decided to end it. He won’t change and you know this now – only you can change how you deal with him. Stay strong x

[ashestobeauty]

Honey, this is what (detail removed by moderator) do. My ex was exactly the same. It’s all about THEM. How they look to the outside world and how they feel.
This is NOT your fault, he’s the bad person, not you. He will never change but you can change your future and leave him behind.
I’m out of my abusive relationship for (detail removed by moderator) and I’ve learnt to love and forgive myself. These people will always blame you for their problems and put their insecurities on you.
Take care and take courage. I never thought I’d be free mentally from my abuser but I am now.
Xx

[ashestobeauty]

You can do it xx

[Louloubee]

Thankyou all it’s been (detail removed by moderator) now last heard from him (detail removed by moderator) so it’s going well im having my moments but I hope I get to the end …..I feel alone tho…. I wish we on here could all be friends and meet 🥰 I don’t have many ppl around me since being with him ….. X

[Author]

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