Why does he send me songs to listen to?

[Footballfan1]

Constantly, multiple times a day, he shares songs (detail removed by Moderator) to me.
Why?
I don’t even listen to them, and I don’t reply to him.

[Bananaboat]

He’s fishing, dangling the rod to try to get you to bite. Keep ignoring him. He’ll try several tactics, including silence to see if you contact him so stay strong xx

[Alicenotichains]

Music is quite emotive. He is trying to hook you back in using whatever he can think of to throw you off balance and back into his prison. Don’t listen to the songs- he is trying to manipulate you. What will he try next I wonder?
Stay strong- you are amazing x

[Footballfan1]

Thanks both,

Does the average person do this, or just abusers do you think?

[Living Warrior]

My ex did this, it was a way to make me feel bad….
But my partner who is not abusive does this too… Mainly songs that have a meaning to him or emphasize his feelings and love for me..and I do the same for him. So normal people do it too..
It’s just abusers tend to use anything to get you to respond. Any acknowledgement from you is a gain to abusers. Keep logs and report harassment…

[StrongLife]

I finally cut ex off. It ended up in a hole heap of irrelevant abuse seeming the relationship was long gone and I had moved on at that point. I never called or contacted back – there was no need.

[Twix]

This happened to me, he’d play a long list of songs about cheating & relationships being over really loud, if I tried to close the door to keep the sound out, he’d open it & play it louder, he was trying to get a reaction from me & a confession about an affair that I’ve never even had.

[Hereforhelp]

Mine would put sad lyrics up on platforms I used, it was a pathetic attempt to evoke some emotions for him… I had emotionally moved on by that time otherwise, the old me, i would’ve felt something … not now, not like that… stay strong as he will try other tactics … mine eventually went back to victim mode but really really victim.. and said some unforgiveable things to me by using a traumatic past incident in my life against me to hook me back in… he also made up some terrible lies, claiming really awful things had happened to him (sickening lies I found out!) be prepared and do not believe a word that he says ❤

[Footballfan1]

Thanks for replies guys,

It really helps me understand what’s happening when I read your posts.

Your right Hereforhelp, he is acting the victim now, saying I’m abusive to him.

He’s accusing me of all sorts of lies.
He’s also still sending me songs.
I don’t listen to them.
I will cut all contact soon, need to stay in contact due to child arrangements for now.
I only respond to messages about the kids.

[KIP.]

Can you use a third party for all contact. Talk to womens aid. Make sure you’re legally the resident parent. Start building a support network.

[Author]

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