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Working on myself and thinking it through so why I attract a certain type of person
Looking back its been very lonely as I don’t believe anyone in my life has been genuine there’s been ulterior motive to what they have wanted.
Father abusive
School bullied
Work bullied
Work sexually assaulted and groomed at young age
Male friend’s abusive, only friends as wanted more from me
Boyfriend’s
Husband
My friends past and present are somewhat too and not close friends. I don’t have a friend to give me a hug or who I can just see in a time of need. I’ve been used by them or friendships have been strange or even full on interfering ones. I had one close friend when I was first with my husband but lost her as both our husbands got involved and it broke down. I believe her situation with her husband was like mine and so friendship lost as husbands didn’t like our friendship.I’m aware growing up in the environment at home has damaged my self esteem and more.
I’m lucky the relationships with my children and my mother are good.
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i have had most of the same experiences so have felt exactly the same
its not easy because it takes a lot of courage & strength to really see what has been happening & why – especially if in your heart you want things to be different from now on
but with the right support it can be done
you are so very lucky to have a few really special relationships in your life, because these will help you to feel good about yourself. they will help you see what healthy honest relationships are all about. as you will feel safe, loved & respected which is absolutely essential – and how every other important relationships in your life should be x
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