Why is all this happening to me?

[Broadbodiedchaser]

I’ve written a few times this week I’m fed up with stuff happening to me. I know I am lucky to have my house (fingers crossed I don’t lose my job).

I left my husband after (removed by moderator) years. (Removed by moderator) years of teasing, controlling behaviour, mocking and silent treatment. I moved mysekf into a tiny house just as my parents both had strokes (detail removed by moderator). Met my new ‘partner’ while travelling to see parents. He drove me (removed by moderator) to see them. Dad died (removed by moderator) later. I arranged funeral (removed by moderator). Filed for divorce after husband refused to let me pick up the rest of my things from the family home and tried to take benefits from me. Bullying at work. My amazing job has become stressful and upsetting. Told my hours had to change (removed by moderator). (Detail removed by moderator). Told I’ve got to have a docs appointment next week but I can’t drive there and taxi will cost me (removed by moderator) pounds each way!! Just feeling very sorry for myself and I wanted to go to beach or walk to help with anxiety but I can’t get there… it feels like everything got worse after leaving my husband. Like ‘pay back’ for choosing to leave. I know I should focus on positive but going walking is very important to me and my mental health.

[Lisa]

Hi Broadbodiedchaser,

Sometimes focusing on the positive is hard, it’s okay to need to unload when you’re feeling overwhelmed and can’t do the things that help you to manage.

It sounds like it’s been one really difficult thing after another and that would be a lot of anyone to deal with, let alone while feeling the impacts of domestic abuse. It’s normal to seek out reasons for why bad things are happening, it’s a protective response to try and feel some control over situations, figure out how to avoid them in future, and generally make sense out of the world. You’ve not brought these things on yourself by leaving though, you didn’t do anything wrong, you deserve to be safe and free from abuse.

Take care and keep posting when you need,
Lisa

[Mellow]

As a driver I know what it’s like being without transport when you are used to it we had plans but had to put our car in garage as what’s ended up a few days im one what likes to just go around aswell and enjoy the freedom of it .you are very lucky to have plucked up the courage to leave you have come so far.i have similar feelings I’ve left a long time now it seems but want to be further along with healing but I’m stuck there I’ve got medication and being referred eventually for therapy but still feel stuck I’ve also had family die on me after we broke up which has been challenging can’t say too much on here but inbox me if you’d like to chat .I’m also in a small house not something I was used to but I’ve learnt to adapt not the best neighbours but being mindful and happy I’ve got out is keeping me going.I’m working but may later have to leave because of complex circumstances I’ve not told boss yet and I’m also devastated as I’m in a very good position for my circumstances as a single parent and make a lot of money

[Broadbodiedchaser]

Thank you Mellow. I know I’ve got a huge amount to be grateful for. Just some days I feel so tired out by it all…

[Author]

Posts