Why is it so hard?

[RedStrawberry]

Im just feeling a bit rubbish, had some bad news (thanks twisted sister for your reply to the original post, it had to be removed) Why is it so hard to explain all the control,the manipulation, the guilt they make you feel when you don’t do what they want. The way they make you feel like it’s all your fault and that you’re going crazy. You can show a bruise on the outside but not all the hurt and confusion that you feel on the inside. Why just when you think you’re feeling stronger they bring you down and still manage to do this when you’re no longer with them and the control continues. Sorry just needed to vent to try and deal with all the emotions in my head

[00breakingfree00]

They prey on kind natured people who they can easily manipulate. You want to see the good in them everytime they do or say something abusive.They have convinced you that you are not worthy but you truly are. It’s so hard and confusing but I completely understand what you mean, stay strong!

[RedStrawberry]

Thanks for your reply 00breakingfree00. Yes I definitely felt not worthy he’d basically tell me I wasn’t good enough for him. I guess I just feel sorry for his next target whoever she may be

[Bananaboat]

Take it as a compliment, you’re so d**n nice, empathetic and strong that you gave all you could and it’s not that you weren’t enough, it’s that he wasn’t strong enough to handle you. They are very damaged individuals who no matter what we did, no matter how much love, Time, money etc we gave them it was never going to be enough. Sadly his next victim will find out the hard way and there’s no point trying to talk to her as she’ll be lovebombed and you’ll be made out to be crazy. It is really hard to explain to people who haven’t lived it, but this forum is a godsend so keep talking xx

[Lostandconfused123]

Redstrawberry you are not alone, please use this forum and read as much as you can on cycles of abuse, n**********c personality disorder etc. I have watched lots of Dr Ramani videos on YouTube which have been so helpful in helping me understand and deal with what I’ve been through.

I also been made to feel unworthy and not good enough for him, and I’m still trying to deal with this now. He used to say things like ‘I’m really picky so you’re lucky I chose you’ or (detail removed by Moderator). It sounds so small, but the constant digs and comments along a similar line are very draining.

Keep your chin up, you will come out the other side a stronger person x

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