Why is it so hard to accept that we’ve been raped?

[maddog]

I’ve been raped multiple times by different people. I’ve gaslighted myself, used the excuses and blamed myself excessively. I wasn’t sexually abused as a child. My early experiences were abusive. I’ve been reminded of another incident and I’m not sure whether or not to report it.

I was abused as a child though not sexually. How did I come to believing that my body isn’t my own and I don’t matter?

I’ve done all sorts of courses with Women’s Aid and other agencies. It doesn’t touch the sides. I’m really struggling.

[maddog]

Am I alone with this? Just spoken to Samaritans. Have spoken to Rape Crisis. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do any more

[Anonymous]

Your not alone .I have found it so hard to admit to myself that I was raped. I don’t even like typing that word.you do matter and how you feel matters no one has the right to do this to another person.all I can suggest is keep talking because when your talking your no longer staying silent.
Am sorry am not much use on this subject but wanted you to know your not alone

[maddog]

Thank you so much for responding, determinedtobehappy. Rape is a horrible word. In my mind’s eye, I still imagine rape and pillage as acts of war, or a woman being dragged into a bush. Of course it’s not like that. I haven’t described the incidents as rape. Other people have told me that it was.

[Author]

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