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    • #140514
      didiimagineit
      Participant

      A couple of months ago I stopped seeing my ex and speaking to his family. Since then I have had constant phone calls and texts about how he wants his stuff back. I have it back around (detail removed by moderator) ago and recently he rang me and apologised and ask me if I wanted to talk. I actually said yes, which I know probably isn’t a good idea but he wanted to speak in person and I just don’t think I’ll be able to say all that he has done to me. Is it even worth it? I only want to speak to him because I know that him and his family think I’m a bad person and I am trying to convince myself that it doesn’t matter but I have this feeling inside that I want to just tell them how wrong everything they have done to me is. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m really confused and it’s been difficult because I was so ‘close’ with them and didn’t really speak to anyone else for a few years. I just feel so much guilt about them thinking I’m a bad person, I told my mum what I experienced and she had a go at them and that just made me feel even worse.

    • #140516
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Hey so this is slightly diffefent but there is a reason for me sharing so stick with my rambling.
      Recently i faced 2 men who had separatly abused and raped me as a child and as an adult. I was warned not to go but like you i had questions anger and wanted to some how feel better.
      When I saw them I froze I became that girl they hurt and I just froze. I was scared things came rushing back and I just couldnt move. It has left me with an empty feeling I cant describe.
      You situation i know is different but my point is you may not get out of the situation what you wanted a meeting in person can be just too tough.
      If this is something you feel you want to do why not write him a letter get everything out off your chest and onto paper that way you have your say safely and you dont have to see him.
      Sadly these men dont think likd we do they dont show or feel remorse and that can hurt really deep down inside you have to do whats best for you sweetie just you whatever you do make sure you are safe and well supported.
      Take care xxxxx

    • #140543
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      If your reason for seeing him is to try to convince him he’s in the wrong or to stop painting you as the bad guy, then I’d say don’t go. He’s never going to accept being at fault, his entitled ego won’t allow it. He might blindside you and apologise but he won’t mean it, it’s to hook you in. The fact he’s told people it’s all your fault is a red flag in itself.

      As for his family, who cares what they think – either they know him and know he’s lying, or they didn’t care about you enough to question his version, either way it sounds like you’re better off without them. Plus even if they know he’s wrong they are unlikely to stop defending their child and side with you, that’s just life.

      Work on moving forward and leaving them both alone. You deserve so much better!

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