Why won’t they go in peace

[Fairyliquid]

Whatever the truth is our relationship is clearly toxic
Neither of us are happy.
They refuse to do any recommendations from the therapist
They are a broken mess (detail removed by moderator) of trying to find a way forward without going back into that cycle.
I only want to find a way forward where we can both heal and have a healthier life.
I love them to pieces but its not working.if I say I’m scared or abused they get soo upset. I dont want to keep spending my life being a emotional wreck. I do not want to break them either.
It really feels like only one of us will survive this.
I dont want to give up more of my life for them, but if they are not OK or they do something silly (I know I am being selfish) then my life is gone anyway.

I dont feel there is a way out.

[Lisa]

Hello Fairyliquid,

I’m sorry to hear that things are feeling so hopeless at the moment. Sadly it’s very common for abusers to use threats to harm themselves as a manipulation tactic, and it can make us feel very trapped and responsible for their wellbeing.
It’s not okay to use threats or consequences in order to control someone or to stop them leaving.

I can hear how exhausting things are at the moment, I hope you are doing okay today.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Author]

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