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A fair while ago an ex turned up at my housejealous of a new partner and tried to kill me.
The police and prosecution service were fantastic and he was given a robust sentence and I have a lifelong restraining order.
However I know he has now been released and despite the fact if he so much came near me he would be hauled back to jail I am petrified the whole time.
Every rustle of leaves in the garden or pipes banging in the night and I’m stressed for hoursI’m on edge the whole time. It’s exha
I am convinced he will turn up to finish the job.
Has anyone had any experience of this who could reassure me or let me know what helped? -
It might seem a bit extreme, but is it possible for you to move? Honestly your fear seems justified. It probably will decrease with time if he doesn’t show up, but if moving is an option that would speed the process.
I think that you can get your phone number registered with the police as priority for call outs too – maybe call women’s aid about how that works? I found that taking practical steps to increase my safety definitely helped me feel sagwr when I left my abuser. I went down the moving route and don’t regret it.
Making sure that doors are locked, windows are secured etc also helps. And I still use audiobooks as a kind of white noise at night so I can fall asleep without jumping at every small noise. Hope this helps.
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What happened to you is shocking.
I can relate to the anxiety part but I do not run the same risks as you do. With me it was only harassment.
Even so my anxiety level went very high up, I jumped at each noise.What empowered myself is to know what I would do in each scenario I could think of.
This calmed me down over the following months slowly but surely.
In your case it is so dangerous that I would ask women’s Aid help and the police to help you draw a plan for each possible scenario.
Having a professional supportive system around you to protect you is the first thing I would do.
Then talk to your GP about your anxiety. It is so high up there, it is exhausting and nerve wracking. S/he will be able to help you too through either offering meds or/and information about anxiety and stress and how to bring it down.In any case get as much help and surround yourself with professional supportive network.
Wishing you safety and peace.
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I felt like this for a long time and my ex also comes close to where I stay and taunts me. Just far enough that I have to drive by him but not so close he breaches restraining order terms. I think my answer is to empower myself. Get good counselling. Time is a great healer. Fill your life with good positive things and people while just being practical with safety. Speak to your neighbors, have an exit plan, let the police know where you live and ask for a marker on your phone and house. It’s going to take time to heal but I tell myself that he wouldn’t dare touch me now. Now he knows im not a vulnerable victim and have had him arrested once before. These men are cowards and he won’t want to go back to prison. I used to think women moved for their safety but now I think abused women move as much for their mental health. I’ve recently started trauma counselling and it’s really helped me. When I see him I make him a pin head in my mind. Mindfulness was good for me and an elastic band to ping in my wrist when my thoughts raced away. Being on edge is extremely exhausting so try and get a good sleep. Eat and drink well. Speak to professionals about your fears and safety. Taking back control empowers us. I saw his solicitor not so long ago. The one who gave me a hard time in the witness box. I was waiting on the lift and he walked up behind me as if he was getting in the lift. Saw me. Our eyes met and he did a double take and took the stairs! I was shaking but I felt empowered. Moments like that can rebuild us. It just takes time x
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It’s completely understandable, your level of fear. You say u have moved, so I assume he doesn’t know your address?
Have you changed your name and\or removed your nne from the open poll lists? Got a marker on your address and phones with the police. Do u have children that need protecting at schools?
You might also havege Sanctuary scheme in your area for security lighting\locks\camera’s\post box.
Anything you need to do to keep safe do and lots of good stuff for you. Warmest wishes ts
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