Will I ever stop feeling exhausted?

[Upthehill]

Hi there. Is anyone else feeling exhausted all the time? Will it ever go away?

I’m so tired and it scares me.

I think it has to do with trauma. I left my abusive ex partner (detail removed by Moderator). I feel like I also lost most of what I thought was my support network when I broke up with him, because they refused to listen and didn’t believe me when I tried to talk to them about the abuse. I still speak to my family, but that has always been tricky because there was abuse in my childhood as well.

But – I did leave all of that and a lot of good things have happened since. I moved internationally for a different job after leaving my ex. Due to work, I have lived in several different places here in the last (detail removed by Moderator) and managed to meet really lovely people in all of them, even with the covid restrictions.

I just feel like I can’t enjoy the good things in life and do my work well because I’m so tired. And I don’t know whether it will ever go away. It has been more than a couple of years now since I left my ex. I know the world has been crazy with the pandemic and moving so much may not have helped, but should I not be feeling better by now?

[KIP.]

Hi, have you had trauma counselling? The Body Keeps The Score is a good book about how we retain trauma and yes it’s exhausting x talk to your GP. It took many years for me to sort out the trauma I was left with but it can be done x abuse in your childhood too will be exhausting. Sometimes a new trauma will trigger old unresolved trauma like childhood abuse.

[Upthehill]

Hi KIP. Thanks for the reply! It gives me hope to hear that you’ve sorted out your trauma (and well done!). I speak to a support worker from rape crisis regularly and she’s amazing, but I haven’t had any trauma counselling yet. I’m on a (very long) waiting list for therapy, but have started thinking about going private. Has therapy helped you?

[KIP.]

Hi, yes it absolutely made all the difference. Many of us were left with post traumatic stress disorder. In a way it’s good you’ve been free for a while as counselling can be quite traumatic but it’s definitely what allowed me to move forward with my life. If you can afford it I’d definitely go private. Ask your GP for a referral. I told my GP what had happened and she put me in touch with a wonderful therapist. You’d be looking for one with experience of trauma, childhood abuse and domestic abuse. Even if you can only afford a couple of sessions it will be money well spent. Mind Over Mood is another good book. Trauma is exhausting. The adrenaline floods the body then there’s the natural come down which is exhausting. If you can do some mindfulness or meditation to keep the body calm it will help. And exercise is a great way to burn off the adrenaline too x it sounds like you’ve got some good things going on in your life so build on those too x

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