Will i go mad if i don't leave? Feel alone

[Mellowyellow]

Hi, i used to be on this forum a fair bit a couple of years ago, some of you may remember me. I keep going round in circles. Things have got worse as everyone told me. I am wise to his abuse now and not in denial. It was mental abuse but there have been two episodes of physical abuse. I just need to go, i regularly feel like lashing out at him, i hate who ive become.

Can we get legal help via women’s aid? I have sought legal advice but am worried about the cost and them understanding what i’ve been through. So scared to lose having my daughter with me at all times. I don’t really want to leave the family home but think i’ll have to.

I’m just thinking outloud. Any women reading that know deep dowm how they’re being treated isnt right dont hang on just get out. I wish i had, im different now. I am weak and miserable. X

[KIP.]

Ring the helpline number on here x

[Tiffany]

Yup, call the helpline. Maybe try Rights for Women too. And don’t sign anything or agree to anything with your abuser until you get advice.

[Mellowyellow]

Thank you ladies. X

[Freedomfighter]

Hi Mellowyellow,
Unfortunately the longer you stay the weaker and more stressed you become. I’m talking from experience. I tried to leave a decade ago but he persuaded me to stay with a load of false promises he never kept. I think the only reason I’m going ahead with my plans to leave now because it’s affecting my son’s health now too. I have to go for his sake.
Once you’re aware of the abuse it’s easier, not so confusing. As soon as I hit obstacles before, he would sense the change in me and started being nice. I’d then tell myself he’s not so bad il stay a bit longer. But I just got weaker and weaker, until he controlled every aspect of my life. I’ve managed to take back some of the control now and am planning the last stage.
Women’s aid put me in touch with a local solicitor, she’s very supportive and understanding, leading me through the process. Women’s aid have also been brilliantly supportive as has my new GP. Work isn’t so supportive, but that’s understandable. There’s lots of help out there. It all started with counselling and women’s aid for me.
Good luck with your journey

[Mellowyellow]

Thanks so much freedom fighter, i rang helpline but kept missing them, will try tomorrow.
So i left todaythen ended up back!
This morning it was 9am and he’d not woken up. I went to wake him as sometimes he says 9am is too late to sleep on a weekend. Me and my daughter were playing on the bed, he then started screaming and told us to grt out, how dare i wake him. I then took my daughter out of the room, i lost it and grabbed a light top and sort of flicked it at him. He then grabbed me, three me on the bed, started shouting and pointing saying dont i ever hit him ill be sorry etc. I cant remember as i wss terrified, i thought this is it, this is where he kills me or seriously hurts me. I could see our daughter in the doorway watching. I got up and my shin was bruised frkm hitting the bed frame where he pulled me. I was going to visit family anyway, i took important docs but nothung else. Then i got talked jnto coming back by family as i had no stuff for me and my daughter. Anyway so he said he did nothjng wrong, it was me who started it. So that confirms it, he has no concept that what he did was wrong. Shall i go tomorrow? He says he isnt going to work until mid morning and i have work and daughter nursery first thing so i eont be able to come back to get clothes again. Feel stuck x

[Author]

Posts