Will it ever be normal again?

[Damagedforever]

I was in an abusive relationship (detail removed by moderator). I had a son with him and eventually after (detail removed by moderator) of torment he disappeared. My problem is my anxiety is still so bad, I question everything and everyone. I always think I’m going to upset someone, I always expect negative responses from people, for example new partners I will think I can’t do that they won’t like it or they’ll think I’m doing something wrong when I’m not. Does it ever get better? If so how do I help myself deal with it and move on. The abuse was all kinds, domestic, physical, financial, sexual. How do I get over it?

[KIP.]

Have you had some good counselling? It really helped me deal with the trauma that I was left with.

[Damagedforever]

Thankyou KIP I haven’t had any yet no, I’m going through speaking to someone at the moment who can put me in touch with someone I just want the thoughts to go away now

[KIP.]

It helped me to understand abusers to so reading Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven and Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas and The Body Keeps The Score. All good books. Mindfulness in the meantime was helpful. And understanding trauma and how we retain it. Every memory will have an emotion attached and sometime the emotion is too much for us to deal with and that’s causing the symptoms of anxiety etc. You might find certain things trigger you more than others. Try keeping a gratitude diary and write three things every day that you’re grateful for. Imagine two dogs, a negative dog and a positive dog. Which one are you feeding. For me the negative do was grossly overweight and the positive one needed a good feed so it’s a good visualisation. I was told the abuse made me reality test. And it’s because we have been gaslighted for so long and we lose our confidence. It will come back with help and being kind to yourself x

[Author]

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