Will it ever stop

[Paincreateschange]

First post left my ex husband over (detail removed by Moderator) years ago due to violence and emotional abuse suffered for over (detail removed by Moderator) years before leaving . Moved over (detail removed by Moderator) miles to start again but left to late he manipulated my kids till it broke our relationship. Then (detail removed by Moderator) so obviously all contact stop immediately. But he’s basically brainwashed my older kids age (detail removed by Moderator) and (detail removed by Moderator) telling them I’m a n****r and he innocent . He still under police investigation so definitely not innocent but my children believe him and are with him . Myself and my youngest he (detail removed by Moderator) trying to move on with life and was doing fantastic. However (detail removed by Moderator) ago my sons got In touch saying they wanted to be in mine and my son life . They didn’t they attempted to kidnap there brother and I’m thinking take him to there dads . Luckily my son threaten to call police on his phone and he was returned promptly but I just don’t know what’s best to do if should have reported it and if a none molestation order may be effective. Just so shocked and confused don’t know which way to turn any advice x

[KIP.]

Please speak to the police. The domestic abuse police on 101 for advice. You’ve had a lucky escape. It’s a taste of things to come unless you take some sort of action. Ring the helpline number on here or contact your local women’s aid. These men will use their own children without regard to their safety or wellbeing. Is there a legal contact order in place? Might be worth speaking to a solicitor. Most offer free initial advice. My sone is a flying monkey for his father. It’s a real shame and we can only hope they will wise up. Meantime we must protect ourselves.

[Paincreateschange]

No contact order in place as not recommended contact that why completely walked away . It’s a hard situation because if I report what’s happened then my older children will both be in serious trouble and although they are young adults they are also victims of there dads behaviour. But equally I’m scared with the lengths they have gone to and wonder what will happen next .

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, I know its hard to report your other children, who are young adults and their dad’s filled their heads with all sorts but they nearly kidnapped your youngest. Your ex needs to know there is consequences for his actions as do your other children. Your son needs protection from your ex, we do what we do to survive💜 trust your instincts on this, we never know what they are capable of.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕

[Paincreateschange]

Think I will phone for some advice tomorrow and take the order out know it’s the right decision just incredibly painful because my sons involved love them all so much but they have left me no other option x Not slept properly since it happened and just wonder when it will all stop . Having a harassment order made no difference. Thanks all for your help x

[KIP.]

Did your non harassment order have a power of arrest? It could be worth going down the civil route which would hopefully avoid police involvement at this stage but a power of arrest would send a warning to your older children. My son took his dad’s side but if they’re confronted with possible police involvement it might be a wake up call for them. Perhaps social services could help if he’s using his children for criminal purposes. It’s a difficult oneso keep asking and reaching out. Women’s aid told me to be prepared to add my son to my ex non harrassment order. Sad but necessary until they see sense. Contact women’s aid for support x

[KIP.]

I also felt it was setting boundaries for my son too. He also needs to know he is accountable for his actions. Even though we all know who is pulling his strings. Outside influences may help him realise what his father is doing is wrong, I know how painful this is for you but it’s not your fault. I’m now estranged from my son but he knows he’s welcome on my terms if and when he wants to contact me, he’s still very much under influence of my ex. I have to play the long game meantime.

[Paincreateschange]

Yes think the order has power of arrest .i know have to do something and I now recognise my children are being just as abusive they have both had all proof necessary via paperwork and over hearing dads conversations. They have said they know he done wrong but because he attempted suicide and (detail removed by moderator) he’s got them that way . I also believe that they think it’s a game seeing how scared i was . All I get off both is I am mental and it’s all my fault I’ve questioned myself many times . So upsetting because don’t know when this will stop or get better

[Author]

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