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Yes you are right. I made contact with my ex nearly 2 weeks ago after a period of 4 months no contact whatsoever. After I sent him the email my nerves and emotions were all over the place. I felt physically sick & terrified of hearing from him. I was completely relieved and so happy when I saw that he had not replied. In fact it gave me such an overwhelming feeling that I had been set free from trauma bonding it was fantastic. That said, I am further down the line of separation than you are Betterdays. It might be different for you as its still very early days and your mind is still processing it all.
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Don’t succumb to contact. You’ll get dragged into that horrible world again, where he confuses and hurts you all the time.
They haven’t got room in their heads to think about others’ needs. They only care about themselves. We only enter their heads when they are planning how then can manipulate, use or hurt us.
What they want is weak and pliable women who will ignore their own needs, and even those of their children, and think only of him. My ex used to get visibly angry when he saw me doing nice things for my kids. The jealousy was transparent.
They even think ‘part of the deal’ of being with them and being in their previous presence is to put up with their abusers and constantly forgive them.
The reason all us ladies are on this forum is because we can’t bear the pain of being in and busive relationship anymore, we’ve been left badly damaged or our kids are suffering. It’s not right. Women and children shouldn’t be treated like that by these oafs of men.
Being with them is like being in an eternal cesspit of suffering. It is a slow death.
I promise you, after going through the healing process, you will find yourself and you will feel free again. He won’t appear to you as a power figure: you will see him for the weak, selfish coward that he is.
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