Wonder how they

[Anonymous]

Feel when you dont contact them? Xx

[NewWings]

I would imagine pretty p****d off. They can’t manipulate in the same way. That’s why as far as is possible no contact is the way. Mine was so rude to me recently I thought what is the point, why am I allowing someone who doesn’t think the rules of common courtesy apply to me and mine, back into my life even for a nano second.
All that I have read over the past (detail removed by moderator) years indicates that there is no real self reflection with these people. They are simply unwilling to do it and what’s more they will never admit to themselves or anyone else for that matter that they have done anything wrong. If you cross them its all about retribution and making you pay.
I can truly say that I don’t think there is a good bone in my exes body. He treats me as his property even though he has another woman, he found her so quickly I thought she was his mistress and he is still constantly trying to get into the house or intercepting mail. These people will always try to get back in again no matter how much water is under the bridge, another indicator that they are not normal. I’ve heard of them turning up years later just to see if they have a hold on you. They can’t believe it when we call them out on their nonsense and say no more. Perhaps because we put up with it for so long. Sorry but they’re all con artists and no con artist likes it when we don’t believe them, or walk away. Mine recently referred to me as being formidable. Normally I would associate that comment with that of an enemy. They are not normal, so normal rules don’t apply, its way too dangerous to listen to them because they are silver tongued. My ex lied for fun, I don’t think I heard much in the way of truth from him for a very long time, as they get worse. So if one of these people tells you they love you check your pockets as they leave. What they mean is I love the life you afforded me and how you bent over backwards to prove your love for me whilst I did nothing at best or betrayed you at every opportunity. That’s why the bad behaviour gets worse as they have to use even more drastic types of control to keep you from leaving or seeing the horrible truth and it is terrible. I remember the first time it really dawned on me that the horror was real and that I was living a nightmare from which I couldn’t wake up. So now you’ve shut the door be aware that he will be trying to find a new way in and that he will never believe that it is truly over. It is a real shock to them when you call time. Mine even sent my brother round to check if I really meant it. What kind of man sends someone else round to do their dirty work? Just be aware too that this can be a dangerous time when you call time. That is their prerogative. Didn’t mean to go on but it just sort of happened.

[Anonymous]

Hi new wings i know when he got with me he still had his ex partners number still stored in his phone even though he said she made his life a misery. Months later he were messaging her as she let me know he were there jst over a week of us seperating x

[iwillbeok]

I knew when I got one of first simpering messages that said that as far as he was concerned nothing had happened that we couldn’t work though – that there was no going back. He was not going to take ownership of his coercive, controlling, abusing ways. All he could see was what I had done wrong. But at least he forgave me! <eyebrow raise>

I have no idea what is in his mind – if I ever knew! So I too wonder what he thinks of my refusing to contact him. I wonder what he thinks as he does his own washing, his own shopping and cooking, eating on his own night after night, how empty his bed feels when he goes to sleep. I on the other hand notice a little less washing, cook what I like, spend less on shopping (all that booze was costing a fortune!), and love the feeling of being able to spread across my bed and not have to sleep in a fetal position worrying if he was going to touch me…

[Author]

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