Wondering if anyone can relate

[Mellow]

My ex and I have separated but the thing I’m coming to terms with is before we separated he told me he had (detail removed by Moderator) wives in another country (detail removed by Moderator) he had whilst I was pregnant or just had a baby this has really upset me he tried to say it wasn’t true later on but now I don’t believe him when my kids visited they said he was calling another woman his wife which means it was all going on behind my back just wondered if any women had gone through this we wasn’t legally married but were engage and have children together and I’ve spent most my young adult life with him

[Lisa]

Hi Mellow,

I just wanted to offer some support in regards to your post. This sounds like such a shocking and distressing realisation, I imagine it is a very upsetting experience for both you and the children.

Quite often the extent of the abuse, gaslighting and manipulation that took place within the relationship does not become fully apparent until we’ve had space and time to process and reflect on things. The clarity this brings can be really challenging.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Feliciabutterfly]

Please go and get yourself tested you can look up SH UK or SH london or GUM clinics near me or ask GP . If he is openly having affairs and then coming back to you after to protect your health.

[Mellow]

Thankyou I have left now I didn’t know about the wives as I thought he said it to hurt me but now I’ve left I think it’s true.there were many signs blatant phone calls wassap status ,secret calls too,long baths .turning phones over and errands he definitely cheated on me so I left .i have no doubt now that he lived a double life.it’s heartbreaking because he planned kids with me he didn’t have to do that but I know he just used me for right to stay with me .my daughter is just a baby .and I know it’s because I didn’t have the gender he desired

[weather]

Dear Mellow,

I am so sorry to hear that you’ve had to endure cheating and manipulative methods of control. My Ex did the same to me and I would definitely recommend an HIV test, as your health is imperative. I always think about what would’ve happened if I’d stayed and realise after so many years as coined by Tina Turner,’ … you would’ve died each day’. I hope you remain safe.

Take good care, Weather.

[Author]

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