Work

[hop]

What happened (removed  by moderator) in work has, well to be honest I can’t believe what went on. I feel a bit overwhelmed and was surrounded by the general public. The people in charge weren’t helping and I already am through the floor with anxiety. It ended with the boss (removed by moderator). Last time we worked together he passively aggressively said (removed by moderator) and because he was going on at me I told him I was offended by his comments. He told me (removed by moderator). I feel d**k. Please, I’m not saying this to get people to saying I’m wrong but I really think I have something inherently wrong with me that makes people think it’s ok to f**k me over. None of what I’ve written probably sounds bad but honestly I feel in a bad way. I can’t reason with myself that it isn’t me. Honestly I’ve been in the building with the guy considerably less than (removed by moderator) times and I’m in a position where he’s seriously affecting me. I feel like a tiny bit of self harm would be ok. I know people will disagree and part of does but it’ll help.

[lover of no contact]

Bear with these feelings. Just ride them out. Don’t get rid of them quickly with self-harm. If you put up with these feelings they will pass in a day or two and you will be healing on a level. I too had the rant and lecture from my boss. I felt awful after but I had to sit with the awful feelings. And now after quite a while after sharing about my boss and implementing grey rock and minimum contact I’m not afraid of her and see her for the bully that she is and she senses I’m stronger so leaves me alone most of the time.

Please keep posting. All of these challenges can lead to growth and healing. I hate the awful feelings; I really do. I hate having to sit with them but they do pass.

Keep posting whether you self-harm or not. But I hope you can just ride the horrible feelings out.

[hop]

I know you’re exactly right and that’s what I’m doing. I’ve still got therapy next week so I feel better than I might have. I just have to last it out. I thought to myself earlier that I need to change what I’m doing to cope or I’ll never get better. I’m not in a good place but I’ll hopefully get there x

[lover of no contact]

Well done Freedom. Hang in in there. Honestly it will get easier. When we “sit” with the feelings no matter how awful the next time they back huge but a little less each time.

I used to feel the same that did I have a sign in my forehead saying please treat me bad as I ended up in the receiving end of so many people treating me bad. Now I see it’s just that the types who get a buzz from being dominate over others can Suss out immediately that I’m an empath. So you’re not the problem it’s just there’s a lot of these types everywhere. I’m dealing with some in my workplace but from coming on here I’m learning to spot them quickly as soon as they spot me so u can take measures to protect myself (ie avoid them as much as possible) and just give my presence and conversation to those I feel safe around and who treat me well.

[Escapee]

I just wrote you a long reply about how I deal with bullies and then chickened out of sending it! I have got myself in all sorts of trouble because I refuse to be intimidated so maybe I need to find a new approach 🙄

Don’t let the b******s get to you, you are worth so much more.

Sending you love and strength x

[HopeLifeJoy]

I too can’t tolerate bullies and did quit a job over it, although not before I fought the battle to the ground against my manager. I was quite burned out afterward but it was worth the fight, I defended myself and all the girls before and after me wearing mini skirts at work. The manager was a macho bully who befriended the director and human resources manager but he messed with the wrong girl. I am social and make it a point to network with colleagues from all different departments, not for power purposes but out of curiosity and drive to improve and unify departments working better together for the clients. My colleagues from finance and legal put me in touch with their directors who’s holding higher positions than the entire bullying clan of my manager, and gave me the address and contact details of (removed by moderator).
They wrote a reference letter for me supporting my complaint.
Altough my manager didn’t get fired, my complaint sits very high up blocking his way up for promotion.
(removed by moderator). They were not able to deny it because it’s true.
I am so proud. I wouldn’t have done it without the support of my colleagues and my abusive ex, if abusers know one thing its about power games.
Always stand up against intimidation. No matter the costs. There are always other jobs out there.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi HLJ, go you,💪💞 I’m so proud of what you’ve done. I too am feeling so much stronger in myself, it’s like I have had a confidence boost. Since leaving my oh I see through bullies so much more now.
IWMB 💞💞

[HopeLifeJoy]

Thank you kindly IWMB ☺️ it’s nice indeed to feel some confidence coming back, enjoy the feeling darling.
Yes bullies are now easier to spot, they are the persons not respecting others simple as that. In the book ‘ Why does he do that’ it says something along the lines of ‘respect is the diametric opposite of abuse. You cannot respect and abuse a person at the same time. Or vice versa.’ Respect has become my guideline, my compass to know if the person in front of me is safe for me or not.

[Author]

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