Work warning

[Serenity]

I had a meeting the other week when they told me they had frozen my tax credits.

It must have shown because today I was told that my performance at that meeting was not up to scratch.

I have been told to step up a gear.

I feel so ashamed. All my life, I have been a good employee. Maybe abuse has made me a rubbish one!

[Ayanna]

So sorry, Serenity.
But what kind of work is that where you cannot be weak sometimes.

Time for change?

[Healthyarchive]

Try not to worry too much about this, if they know you, your character and your work record they will probably let this slide. Is there anybody in authority at work you trust who you can confide in a bit about what has been going on?
One good thing, at least your managers have been clear and direct without skirting around the issue so you know what you need to do. Its no wonder things have been playing on your mind. Its good on the whole you are back at work and getting on generally, I’m assuming that everything else is ok on the work front. X*X

[WalkerInTheRain]

I’d consider finding someone at work you can trust to confide in. Most companies will have a stress policy (this doesn’t have to be work related).
If they are aware of certain issues they may be able to provide support with alternative duties, flexible hours/start times. I’m not sure how large your employer is but is there a HR dept you can contact?

[Bridget Jones Is Free]

Don’t worry Serenity, your work may have suffered but you have the skills to improve your performance, you are clever and dedicated, it is just a bleep, you will be fine. X*x

[lover of no contact]

Hi serenity,
I had similar comments from from my boss a year or so ago. I was devastated and confused as I give my all to my work and have high standards and yet she found fault. It subsequently became apparent she has the behaviours and patterns of an abuser and she (like my abuser ex-husband) used to do rules the workplace by fear/intimidation and bringing you down not building you up. She finds your Achilles heel and then she goes for it.

Look at the person who told you your performance was not up to scratch at that meeting. Are they on top of their game the whole time? Do they always perform 100 percent all of the time. As Ayanna said can we not be weak sometimes. We are human beings, not robots, we’re allowed make mistakes, get it wrong sometimes, perform under par, say the wrong thing, not get it right always.

Turns out my boss is actually very lazy and she’s allowed make any mistake. But when my boss pulled me to task it stirred up the wounds I had where my ex-husband would ‘lecture ‘ me on being a better wife’, etc, etc

[KIP.]

So they told you in a meeting that your tax credits, which you rely on, had been frozen, then tell you that your performance at the same meeting wasnt upto scratch! What did they expect after dropping that bombshell. Id be complaing about that. I dont understand what its got to do with your employer?
Where is the help, sympathy. Sounds like this person needs a reality check. How dare they❤️

[Suntree]

I had a boss and a company that tried to get rid of me.
In the end I had to get the help of someone else who was better at dealing with bullies than I was.
Sometimes you can’t do things alone x

[martian29]

Hi Serenity, so sorry to hear you have been having trouble at work.

I can relate to how you are feeling fully. I loved my job until recently. I thought I was good at it until we got a new boss. She is horrible to me and is constantly pressurising me to work extra hours when I am on my own with two kids under 16. If I refuse to take on extra shifts, she is nasty and abusive to me. I am contracted to do a certain amount of hours yet she tells me I should have my phone with me at all times, even in the bath. I am so unhappy there now. It feels like I am being controlled and abused all over again.

My working tax credits have also stopped as an external company sent me a letter asking for proof of my wages. I thought it was just a reminder to renew the tax credits online which I had already done. Now they tell me as I didn’t send the wage slips as requested, I will not be getting any more payments. How am I going to pay my rent? How am I going to keep a safe, secure home for my kids when we escaped from hell with the n**********c abuser? They just don’t care.

I hope things work out for you Serenity,you really don’t deserve this.

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Martian, you might find it helpful to chat with Lover of No Contact as she is also having problems at work. X*X

[Serenity]

Thanks Martian,

I am sorry you are undergoing the same.

My tax credits have just been reinstated, I hope ( man on phone said they were to be), because I quickly sent off all proof. Try to do it as soon as you can- apparently then it can be resolved more quickly.

I have a bully at work too. I hope you can find a way of escaping yours. You don’t deserve it, either.

Hugs X

[Author]

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