Worried

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

I got through to womens aid this morning. They couldn’t advise me on housing so they put me in touch with my local domestic abuse helpline. I rang them this evening and they have said they will be able to help me get the advice I need but they need to go through a series of questions to assess my risk. Is this a MARAC? I heard her writing things down and she asked for my full name. Is this normal? I am very worried about giving personal details out incase he finds out or in case the police turn up at my house or something then he will know I’ve been telling people what he’s like.

[bubbles]

No they will not put you in danger if you still live with him. MARAC is a risk assessment board, every so often they get together it’s usually housing or a council member, the police, social services, education etc they will assess your need for housing and what’s best for your welfare and your kids if you have them. MARAC deal with high risk cases. It’s good you’re with the right people MARAC helped me loads! x

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Hi bubbles, thanks for clearing that up! I honestly had no idea what she was going to do but she assured me that she was just going to fill out a risk assessment form based on a series of questions and that everything would be kept confidential X

[Dragonfly]

I was given a risk assessment by (detail removed by Moderator) after he attacked me. I scored fairly high. I’d just like to say they were brilliant and always at the end of the phone if I needed them. They sent me a personal alarm, lots of advice, details of organisations that could help me and ongoing support.

[bubbles]

Yeah it’s a safeguarding board. I just read your housing post and from what you wrote it will be looking at the safest way to get you and your daughter moved. They will probably move your urgency band on social housing if you are registered if not they will look at how they can help you. Less than a month after my MARAC meeting i was collecting the keys for my new house! You may get a social worker but if your taking the steps to protect your daughter, which you are they are good. Mine used to play with the kids while I cooked dinner (I know this was a tactic to speak to them alone but I had nothing to hide). You are definitely in a good place! Good luck x

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

I am really scared about telling my housing association what has been going on. I feel a lot of people judge you see. I am also scared about the possibility of getting a social worker. I had them non stop growing up because my dad was abusive when I was little and from my experience some of them were great but some of them did more harm than good. I am so worried that they will take his side and not believe me. He will deny everything, say I’m making stuff up, say I’m crazy. I just want him to leave me and my daughter alone so we can get on with our lives

[ok honest]

Sorry worried, but I have a different experience of Marac and of Social Services. I went to The Haven in (detail removed by moderator) after an attack, they did a forensic and psychological investigation, took all my evidence, underwear, blood stained sheets, etc, I did’t press charges, was still living with him financially dependent, and very fearful. They Haven informed Social Services of the attack, because I was in danger and the children were seeing some and hearing some of the attacks, Marac meetings took place without me being told, Social Services began child protection process, he was prevented from seeing the children, but one meeting with him and The Social Worker was convinced I was lying, and he was a lovely, hard done by, man. At the Child Protection Meeting, despite the referral coming from The Haven because of an attack, and being completely against my wishes, and despite the physical evidence, the senior social worker said “you call it rape, he say’s that’s just what you are into”. Be very careful with Social Services.

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