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    • #146544

      Hi, just need some advice.
      I want to leave my partner to hopefully a refuge as soon as possible. I’m currently leaving clothes for me and my daughter, bit by bit with a friend. Because of my partner’s previous drug use we have rent arrears (I didn’t know this was happening until we received letters) in a previous housing association property,I’ve read I might not be offered stable housing after a refuge. Hes controlling and manipulative icant see my friends, he constantly changes his moods and I know he’s doing it to control my emotions, I’ve had to leave my job, I’m constantly walking on eggshells. I’m really worried I won’t be able to get a stable home for me and my daughter now. Could anyone offer any advice? I’m sure other women could be in a similar situation as me. It’s worrying because I don’t want to stay but I’m so worried about leaving now too. I feel trapped. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. (I don’t have any rent arrears on my current property). Thanks 😕

    • #146561
      Main Moderator

      Hi Zuesy,

      Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear you feel trapped and I can understand this. However as you say, many survivors find themselves in this situation of what’s called coerced debt. You are sensible to think ahead but having rent arrears should not stop you from leaving and accessing safe accommodation. It’s not uncommon for a woman in refuge to have rent arrears. From the refuge you should be able to get some support and access to debt advice.

      Have a read through the Money Issues page of the Survivors Handbook which briefly explains what we know about how a housing association may respond to your situation.

      For more in depth advice I really suggest looking at the Surviving Economic Abuse website, who run a Financial Support Line for survivors of domestic abuse, in partnership with Money Advice Plus. To contact the Financial Support Line call 0808 196 8845 (Mon-Fri, 9am-1pm and 2pm-5pm). Hopefully they could give you some information and reassurance.

      It would also be worth getting in touch with your local domestic abuse service, as they would be more likely to have had experience with your local housing association.

      It sounds like you’re doing really well having made the decision to leave and planning to do so safely; keep going.


      • #146652

        Thank you for your reply and advice Lisa. I will definitely look into getting further advice from the organisations you have suggested 🙂

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