Year from hell

[Mama2020]

I have been married (detail removed by Moderator) years and we have almost (detail removed by Moderator) year old, things have always been up and down in the relationship but this year it has gone to another level, (detail removed by Moderator) we went on holiday with his (detail removed by Moderator) grown up daughter and her family this was the first time we had all been away together and my husband was horrible to me the whole time and I felt like a total outsider, this was made worse when I took a test confirming I was pregnqnt (detail removed by Moderator) (we had talked about q second child and was not using protection but apparently he changed his mind and forgot to mention it to me) anyway we got home and it transpired there was a closeness between him and a work colleague which was leading him to lie to me both deny anything hqd happened however it hasn’t been the first time he has been caught doing something he shouldn’t, this year continues going from bad to worse when we end up stuck at home together 24/7 fast forward to (detail removed by Moderator) mlwhich was my birthday he handed me cards and q gift to which I immediately thanked him but (detail removed by Moderator) later he hit the roof screaming in my face stating I hadn’t thanked him and was rude there was no point trying to get him to see i had thanked him as once he gets anything in his head there isn’t any changing his mind, qt almost (detail removed by Moderator) months pregnant i walked away sobbing and sat on my own for the rest of the day, this seems to happen everytime i look forward to anything and all i wanted to do for my birthday was take my son to the playground, he is constantly putting me down controls everything qnd I feel I have no life anymore but with no job myself qnd the house been his before we met i dont feel I have any options to leave right now as I have no where to go and no income and with a baby due (detail removed by Moderator) im feeling totally lost, I have never been so miserable in my whole life

[Lisa]

Hi Mama2020,

I have sent you a private message but I also wanted to welcome you on here as well as check in with you to see how you are doing? I hope posting on the forum has helped to offload and the information in my message has been useful towards taking the next steps.

Please do let us know how you are when you are able to.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Fl0w3r]

Hi Mama2020, I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time right now. It must be very hard to see your options but I think there will be some good advice from people on here. I’m quite new to all this so I’m not sure I’ll be much help, sorry. This is a safe place to share how you’re feeling and you will find support and willing listeners so keep talking! X*x

[lover of no contact]

Hi Mama2020,

It’s so horrible being on the receiving end of their ranting and raving, screaming and shouting. All so negative. And you need extra loving and care being pregnant and with a young child to care for. You can’t control his behaviour but you’ve done the best thing for you and your little one after bring subject to his tantrums of coming on here and posting for support. Welcome to the Forum. You will get stronger when you see that these behaviours of his aren’t unique but very similar to what us ladies on here have had to put up with. You are not alone in this. As added support you could ring WA tomorrow and talk through your situation with them. You can’t change him but you can get help, support, and our experience, strength and hope by reading the posts on here and posting as often as you need.

[Wants To Help]

Hi there,

I honestly do feel for you, your situation probably does feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. However, you do have options. One is to call a solicitor who specialises in family law and seek advice from them. Another one is to go to a refuge.

When I was in refuge there was a woman there with a toddler and a brand new born baby (one week old). We all rallied round her and helped her, I’d have the toddler for a few hours in the afternoon to play with my son so the lady could get some sleep when her baby slept. She was supported in getting her own accommodation and she got a two bedroom house with the Local Authority. It wasn’t easy for her but she did it.

What support network do you have with family and friends of your own? I know that being a single parent isn’t what any of us probably intended to be, but sometimes it is better to struggle alone than struggle with an abuser. Financially you would get some support from UC, support workers can help you apply for what you are entitled to.

[Chestnut]

Hi, would you feel able to talk to your midwife? They will be asking about or should and they should support you. X

[Author]

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