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    • #120752
      Numbnumb
      Participant

      It’s just what happens isn’t it.we have bad days.(detail removed by Moderator) months post separation and I mostly do really well but today I can’t stop crying.Im so sad he bulldozed our family apart, I’m so angry at him , he was my only adult family I have,my husband but he was my abuser. Today even thinking about the horrid things he said and done to me isn’t shaking of the low feeling like it often does. I was attached to him deeply for decades, before I educated myself , when I could think up excuses for his behaviour. It’s his birthday very soon,perhaps that’s why I’m emotional today.I will ignore it , he will visit The children outside our home staying in vehicle as I couldn’t bare him coming in here,too painful, so I’m feeling guilty about that . It’s a bad day, tomorrow will be better ,and a cry always clears the dark fog a little.

    • #120767
      Hetty
      Participant

      Just wanted to reach out to you and show some support. It’s good that you know this will pass and better days will return. It’s so difficult when these men have been our world and also our abusers. I have a c**p family and in some ways my ex supported me but he also abused me. It can feel so unfair. I wanted nothing more than a happy family life but that’s just not the reality and sooner or later I had to face facts.
      Be your own best friend and remind yourself how far you’ve come. Do something nice for yourself. Don’t feel guilt for not wanting this man in your home. He is an abuser and you don’t want him contaminating your space or making it unsafe. That is your right. The guilt is on him.
      Sometimes we just need to let the tears flow to reset ourselves. ❤️

    • #120778
      Numbnumb
      Participant

      Thanks , everyone on this forum just gets how one feels, a rare thing elsewhere. I went in the garden in the drizzle and potted some supermarket spring flowers Id had hanging around for too long, I think that helped. I love that idea of a good cry kind of resetting you , so true.

      • #120806
        Hetty
        Participant

        I’ve found loads of joy in the garden. I bought some little £1 plants and have been potting them. I’ve never been a gardener but I’m enjoying making my new space homely and trying new things. I’ve also been upcycling old furniture. Finding peace and contentment in the small things in life has been so liberating. How good is it to be free of drama?! I’ve been coping with a lot of different emotions but have found so much pleasure in thinking about how I want my life to be, feeling fully in control ❤️

    • #120803
      Eggshells
      Participant

      Sorry numbnumb, I think I may have seen this too late. I hope you’re doing ok. Hopefully, you’ve been able to get an early night; sometimes you just need the day to end. Fall into the blissful escape of sleep and reboot. I hope you feel a little better tomorrow. Sending hugs.xx

    • #121424
      Newyear2021
      Participant

      Haven’t had a cervical screening in about (detail removed by moderator) as partner thinks it’s disgusting female doctors or nurses have to do these things so basically I’m being controlled am I right can anyone help if you have been in this situation

      • #121427
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Hi, this is really concerning as you need to have your cervical screening just to make sure you’re all ok.
        Him saying it’s disgusting is ridiculous, it’s just another way for him to control you.
        Are you able to ever go out without him? Does he work? Just trying to think of a way you could make a secret appointment to have your screening without him knowing x

    • #121640
      Newyear2021
      Participant

      No he doesn’t work I just want to get away don’t know where to go he’s Threatening to get my ex killed if I leave I have kids with my ex

    • #122023
      Newyear2021
      Participant

      Fed up with being called names fed up with being told I’ve slept with people when I went for a ct scan just because it took an hour told him it can take longer sometimes this was (detail removed by Moderator) years ago I went for that

    • #122292
      Newyear2021
      Participant

      I’ve been called fat and stuff he keeps passing me chocolate in the evening is this a way of controlling me so he can call me names

      • #122306
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Hey Newyear2021, sorry I didn’t get a notification for your replies. How have you been?
        Yes it is. Mine has called me fat before too.
        Could you have a search for your local women’s aid online? xx

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