' you are dead to me'

[itmustbemesurely]

he left some months ago, I have told him its over but the abuse continues, he threatens suicide if I don’t promise to give him another chance. He now says he is moving back because I have told him its over and says that there isn’t anything I can do about it, I am vile, a b@tch, heartless, cruel, horrid, stupid, because I have said no. I have broken the family up, he said this in front of our children. He scares me, he texts constantly about what he wants, he says that things are going to get really difficult for me now, I can’t manipulate him anymore and I will pay for what I have done. Does anyone have any advice they could give me?

[itmustbemesurely]

The reason I titled the post what I did is because he sent me that in a text, I am the mother of his children yet he will make us move out and sleep on a friends sofa….

[KIP.]

Total no contact. Things are only going to get worse and if he moves back then he will hurt you mentally then physically if you don’t give him what he wants. Ring Rights for Women who offer free advice and try to get an exclusion order through the civil courts that will allow you and your children to stay in the home until the divorce or separation is sorted. Show the text and any other evidence you have to a solicitor. My ex didn’t think twice about making my son and I homeless. They have no moral compass so don’t expect him to be reasonable. There are no depths they won’t sink to. A refuge is another alternative if you ring the helpline number on here x

[KIP.]

The test sounds threatening to me. Ring the domestic abuse police and explain the situation. They may be able o give him a warning and that evidence will help get an exclusion or non molestation order in the civil case x

[itmustbemesurely]

we are going to loose the house anyway because of his money problems, he left me in real sh@t and now has switched tack pleading with me saying he’d die without me, poor poor him hey no thought about who his behavior affects me or the children. It’s just horrendous to live with

[KIP.]

Hey, mine said the same thing. He couldn’t live without me. He’s not your responsibility. No contact is the way forward. It’s all about their needs. It’s shocking to realise they couldn’t care less about their own children. And worse that they would use them in such a heartless way. Good riddance to bad rubbish x

[keepmovingfoward]

All sounds familiar to me too, im a cruel, & heartless, leaving him with no home and feeling suicidal. he manipulated & brainwashed me, almost cost me custody of my children due to his actions (to their dad) its always about him without any consideration for the impact his behaviour and actions have had on me or my children.
Get the police involved, protect yourself and the children and dont take no more of his S**t!

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

I’m sure these men all read the same book, if some one had told me x years ago, this is what his next move will be, i would of doubted them, but u know what when i left people knew exactly how ex would react and they were right, these men follow the same pattern of being selfish, putting us on the streets, defy their love for us and how suddenly we are the best thing ever that happened to them , they cant live without us to what a selfish b**** we are and they will make our lives hell. Your kids dont need to see him abuse u , go no contact, log this all with police and gp. I know u said kids are involvedbut u can get the police saafeguarding team to guide u what the options are to how he can see kids if safe. Call the helpline and get a support worker allocated to u, to support u making a plan to move forward

[itmustbemesurely]

it’s knocked me for six, I can not think how someone who professes to love you can treat you in that way, he makes me doubt everything. I can not make the decisions I have to because he has undermined me to the extent I don’t even know how I feel and if I am over reacting. It’s like I’m watching my life on a TV show.Beyond horrid

[Ayanna]

Give his texts to the police
Get a non molestation and occupation order.
Block his number or change your number.

Do everything to get rid of him.

[itmustbemesurely]

Looking back too I think he was financially abusive, he used to take himself out for breakfast and lunch whilst the kids and I had pesto pasta because that’s all we had in the house. I went without, cut my own hair, didn’t have any money sometimes even for lunch, or sanitary stuff yet he would go to the pub after work and drink every night. He didn’t pay the mortgage, he got us into arrears, and didn’t pay the bills – yet would go out, go to football matches and buy drugs and online porn….sometimes if my friends were going out he would give me £20 so that I could too, I’d have no money because I’d bought food and things for the children. he ended by bankrupt and we are about to loose our home, he made that decision without discussion with me, I can never forgive that.

The reason he was so angry at the weekend was because I upset him, I made me angry it was my fault. I don’t show any empathy or compassion for how he feels, he loves me so much and it’s because he loves me like that that he reacted the way he did…shouting in my face calling me a ‘f*****g c**t’ if I had shown some kindness and consideration that he was pouring his heart out he wouldn’t behave like that. I told him I want a divorce but he hasn’t listened he still posts on facebook how much he loves me, he still says to give him a change or he will make my life hell. He has turned down other women, he has had loads of offers but that’s it now the ‘gloves are off’.

Is it me, have I done something wrong? I can’t lie and I can’t pretend it’s all ok.

[Author]

Posts