You can recover. It's possible.

[gold for a king]

I remember when it was so fresh and I couldn’t see the wood from the trees. It felt like the whole world was crashing drown on me. I looked to the internet to see what the realistic recovery would be but there was no definitive answer. It could be 10 years or never. It all depends they said. I think there should be something on the internet to say that you can recover from it and it can happen within your lifetime. It did for me and I think the key is shutting yourself out from people that have a habit of putting you down all the time. I’m much happier now. I’m not sure why I was so attracted to them in the first place, but I was. Its all changed now. Everyone that’s in my life is my friend. Onwards and upwards.

[BakingQueen]

I love this. Thank you for sharing.

[Poodlepower]

Thanks for these words. You’re absolutely right, recovery is possible. I myself am determined to be healthy and happy and am working hard to be so. I’m lucky in that I have fabulous friends and family and a job I love. I count myself fortunate and refuse to slide into a pit of sadness. I work on my physical fitness and keep busy doing things I enjoy.

We’re not on the planet for long are we? It’s up to us wether we waste our time here or make the most of it. Bad things happen, but we can put them behind us.

[freedomtochoose]

hello there,
yes, I think that a lot can be said about the road towards recovery.
However, I am not sure it is entirely possible.

I live with a disabilty and it doesn’t go away.
That is nothing to do with me not trying.
But it is afact

[gold for a king]

Hi freedomtochoose. even though you have a disability it’s still possible.

[Ayanna]

Thank you for your post.
It is so true.
I have removed all toxic people from my life.
There is no drama anymore, just peace and tranquil.
I can focus fully on my recovery, which has been taking long already ….
I think the recovery time depends on the amount of trauma too.
I was abused as a child and the abuse by the perp brought all my childhood trauma back up again, on top of what I had suffered through him.
I give myself all the time in the world.

[Poodlepower]

I think it must be harder to recover when childhood was difficult.. I’ve been very lucky and have wonderful parents who brought me up in a secure, loving environment. I’m sure this had helped my recovery.

[freedomtochoose]

I think one of the biggest challenges and difficulties I have had is many organisations and people not accepting that I have a long-standing condition which occurred as a result of being exposed to trauma over a sustained period of time. This is a disability as described by the Equality and Diversity Act 2010.

I am not sure what other’s definitions of ‘recovery’ exactly are. But I do know that over the past few years I have encountered many so-called professionals who appear to think that I am somehow making it up. Or even that I could change if I wanted to.

It is not as simple as that. Yes it is true that I no longer feel afraid from morning till night in the sense that I used to several years ago. However, I am no longer the person I was and have to contend with certain things that mean I have to live life differently. The evidence out there is that yes, brains do change and we work with something called ‘neuro-plasticity’ – but the brain (especially in my case) – does not go back (or forward) to how it was previously. It hasn’t in my case, and I doubt that it ever will.

So the word ‘recovery’ doesn’t speak to me, I’m afraid. Which doesn’t mean I object to others using the word, obviously if they find it helpful.

thanks
ftc
x

[Tiffany]

I became disabled before the abuse began. But my disability was massively worsened by the abuse. I still feel that I am recovering. I will never be the same person I was before the abuse. The abuse has put me in a position where I may never recover from my disability (which might have been possible had the abuse not occurred). But I am still in recovery and can see that I may one day reach a stage where I will describe myself as recovered. I am a stronger and kinder person for what I have experienced. Not everything has changed for the worse. And if I can learn to deal with triggers so that they do not cause serious relapses in my illness then I will truly be recovered.

[freedomtochoose]

Thanks Tiffany,
Especially the bit about
‘not everything has changed for the worse’
in that sense despite the challenges I have I would still say that in our lives,
me and babes everything has changed for the better. And it is not just me thinking that
but my babes reminding me that that is how it is, so it is kind of a strange journey that
I never expected to be on
thanks everyone for sharing their experiences
really appreciate this forum
ftc
x

[gold for a king]

You can never be the person that you was. I can never be the nieve 24year old that I was. But I’m more clued up. Life will always damage you. Time is always a healer. Age gains wisdom. The more you learn the easier it gets.

This whole thing brings me to my grandma. She is was in her late 90’s when her abusive husband (my grandad) died. She is registered blind, wears a hearing aid and now has lost the feeling in her fingers which is very important for someone blind because they use this to compensate for the loss of sight.

She has problems enjoying her freedom because of her age but she’s still going.

When my grandad died they said that he was very abusive and that the worse thing was that he didn’t die sooner for the sake of my grandma. It has always been thought by my family that there is an evil streak in my family. My dad had it worse but my aunt and my sister has a bit of it watered down. I was told that it skipped me completely. The ones affected said at the funeral that there is a part of him in all of us.

I may not have my grandad’s evil but I’ve come to realise that I have my grandmas spirit. I’ve always wondered where I get my strength. When she dies I’ll say to everyone that we all have a part of her in us as well.

[Author]

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