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    • #132109

      In light of the recent cases involving violence against women and also against children I feel I have to let my story be told. I’m a nearly (detail removed by moderator) years old and my (detail removed by moderator) so I hope my English fits. However my husband is English. I have to declare I’m writing this to reach out, not for any personal gain.

      Until lets say about (detail removed by moderator) I had suffered at the hands of my ex husband, a perverted n********t for years, during the marriage and later. I found the courage to leave him in(detail removed by moderator) abusive and frightening years, where before I couldn’t find a way out because of the three children I had with him. I felt the dire need to protect my (detail removed by moderator)  daughters.

      During the marriage:

      I was raped constantly, waking up in the night with him forcing himself with his weight upon me. I protested but could not cry out or move.

      I was forced to do perverted degrading acts, and when I refused, he wrote me threatening letters demanding these acts and detailing why he needed these perversions (letters I still have as proof).

      Ex had an affair for at least(detail removed by moderator) with his now present ‘partner’. My (detail removed by moderator) daughter had to read (detail removed by moderator) dirty talk between the both of them.

      I was constantly verbally abused and degraded in front of the children and with friends in the house, in such a way so that the children would also believe the father and begin to disrespect me.

      I was physically abused by being kicked by my ex in public (detail removed by moderator).

      Had a glass of water thrown over me by him (detail removed by moderator).

      Alienated by the ex from my own family.

      (detail removed by moderator)

      Witnessed him (detail removed by moderator) using explicit sexual words.

      After the marriage:

      Facing complete alienation from my daughters who were after the separation (detail removed by moderator). Parental alienation is something that seems to go unnoticed in (detail removed by moderator) and I suffered the worst case of it.

      (Detail removed by moderator)

      Hearing that the then (detail removed by moderator) son always had to go in the bath with my ex and then playing (detail removed by moderator)  always just before returning to me after visiting weekends.

      Hearing from my son that the father (detail removed by moderator)  daughters as punishment in some kind of game.

      (Detail removed by moderator)

      In (detail removed by moderator) as my (detail removed by moderator)  daughter was (detail removed by moderator), I finally went to the police to report the historical rape and the bullying and the threatening letters. The police believed me and charged him. Unfortunately after (detail removed by moderator).

      (Detail removed by moderator)

      Sadly in (detail removed by moderator), to save the son from such torment, I had to let the ex have him completely. Of course as expected, even though I live (detail removed by moderator) away, I lost contact with my son, with my son believing me to be a terrible mother, just as the daughters came to believe.

      People may ask here. Why did I marry such a monster? Well it’s easy. My mother had somehow schooled me to marry into security. A (detail removed by moderator)  has security, right? Why stay for so long in an abusive and degrading marriage? The answer is actually in the text. I wanted solely to protect my young daughters and the feeling of loneliness and lack of support from the outside world as my ex had successfully alienated me from friends and family.

      I’m now a recovering cancer patient and a (detail removed by moderator). I’m happy now and have a wonderful husband and can only thank the stars that at last in 2021 I can finally close that chapter forever.

    • #132110
      KIP.
      Participant

      Thank you for sharing and I’m so glad you’re recovering. Parental alienation is horrific and the final sting in the tail. I’ve heard from many sources that as children enter adulthood and have families of their own, they awaken to the reality of just who the abusive parent was. I hope one day my kids will waken up but it took me decades. I share your pain. Well done for just surviving that nightmare. Power to you x

    • #132111
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Wow what a story and what an incredable lady you are to share it with us so brave well done you.
      Im in my (detail removed by moderator) of being married (detail removed by moderator) of his nastiness and im still here so I can understand a little.
      I really hope now you are out you can learn to heal and live a life worth living.
      I wish you so much luck and hope for the future you have ahead of you.
      Thank you for sharing with us all. Xxxxxx

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