You don’t bring me flowers anymore

[Iwon]

A memory
My husband came in tonight raging about nothing ad usual. Dinner not right. His life is c**p. Why is he even married to me. I am a rubbish wife. Rubbish mother. I contribute nothing to our family.

I very quietly and calmly said. I work til time. Primary carer for our child. I live like a pauper. Give you all my salary. Why don’t you once a week buy a 3 pound bunch of flowers. It would make me so happy. Improve things if you did just one thing.

He screamed and cried and rages for half an hour. His spit hitting me in the face. His ugly bulging fat face pushed up in mine.

How dare I. He pays for everything. I pay for nothing. I am useless. He brought me a reduced bunch on my birthday so f off.

I remember just turning away and thinking God I hate this life.

At the time I was the breadwinner. Had just used my pension and life savings to save us losing our house because of his chronic gambling and extravagant lifestyle. I dressed in rags. Could n’t afford sanitary towels.

I forget how awful he was sometimes. Then I remember how awful cruel and sub human he was.

Then I count my blessings and thank God we now live in peace. Xx

[Chickadee]

Hi.

It is wrongful pain, hurt, and anguish. The memories get subdued in subconcious. But we don’t forget, you just helped me with something with your post, thank you!

Peace, but your not living! I responded to your f”Feeling Deep Sadness” post just prior to this.
I hope it helps.

Chickadee

[Iwon]

Thank you x

[KIP.]

Gosh. I too minimise the abuse. I remember hearing his car door close outside and not making it upstairs quickly enough to lock my bedroom door before he saw me. He was kicking the door threatening to take a chainsaw to it. How did I ever live like that? Who puts a lock on their bedroom door to keep their husband out!

[Chickadee]

Hi KIP.

You would be suprised to find out how many of us run, when they come home. And how many of us have barricaded ourselves out of fear.

Your not alone. I barricaded myself and daughter behind a door and into a room. He screamed and yelled trying to kick it in, but I lodged a heavy piece of furniture behind it. This was after several incidences with him physically coming after me and my daughter. Then he set the car on fire. I got us out.

I’ve now been through another one, even worse, and still on-going, due to improper handling.
I’m out, but still in h…

Chickadee

[SunshineRainflower]

That’s so awful Iwon, reading your story I was wincing just knowing how an abuser would react. They are all the same. Yes the abuse gets minimised mainly through their gaslighting. So many things felt like I had imagined them but they come up later as triggered memories.

So glad you broke free and are healing now ☺

[Rainbowcloud]

This happened to me the other day I forget the abuse sometimes he was raging because I asked if me and the kids could go to his friends party. I wasnt allowed to go with the kids he kicked off sop badly because I moaned that I wanted to go he was punching the walls and dragging me around like a rag doll he said he was taking all the stuff out the house, the tvs everything my son was crying. I was so scared he was frothing at the mouth I went and stood at the front doorstep to get away I didnt want to go upstairs I knew he would come after me and didnt know what he would do. I stood at the door so that made him worse saying I wanted the neighbours to hear our argument and to get inside now as he wasnt going to hit me but he was like an out of control animal. He even called his dad and said I wouldnt let him take his things which isnt true I said he couldnt take the tv he made out to his dad I was the mad one saying she wont let me take my stuff and shes saying shes going to call the police even though he attacked me.
I called the police to have him removed they didnt turn up I had to endure it for an hour and in the end he left.
Im still with him after this your post rang so many bells

[Alpaca]

I remember asking mine to buy me a mop and bucket. He ranted at me to buy my own f***ing mop and bucket. It’s the symbolism of being bought something that counts. I feel for you, my love. xx

[Author]

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