Your old posts

[KIP.]

I’ve been going through my old posts on here and it’s been very healing to see how far I have come. Click on your profile top right where it says Hi and click forums then topics created.

Here’s an old one I kept…. (wasnt mine originally but it gave me hope)

Breath and be free from him his control and his abuse… I’m going to be me today and for the rest of my life. I know he is nothing without me and I am and I was everything without him. One day at a time and surely I will get there to the old me before I met this evil animal.

I think I had to do a lot of mourning after I left him. I loved him once but for the most part of the time in the relationship I didn’t love him, I stayed with him for other reasons those being mainly to survive.

Anyway the point I am making here is that after getting away, I would explain to other people and their attitude would be for me to “get over him”, not in a nasty manner from them, more like “you can forget about him now”. Their faces expressed being puzzled. I found myself a bit lost about what to say, although I knew exactly what I was feeling and thinking.

What I meant to say was, ” I don’t give a s**t about him I am mourning the damage he has caused me”.

I have spent a lot of time healing and mourning and it was worth it. Now I can explain to people more clearly what these Abusers are doing, and no I am not stressed out from parting from him I was stressed out from the stress he was causing.
Some people out there, please get your facts right.

We are mourning the loss of ourselves- not the loss of them.
We mourn the health, optimism, naivety, peace and confidence that they stole from us.
Those who haven’t been through it could never, ever understand. X*x

When you finally give up on him you will then be free to think about the most important people in your life: you and your children. You are capable of the most immense love, You have so much to give and deserve to receive so much in return.

[Iwantmeback]

😘😘 thank you KIP, I truly hope I feel like you do someday.
We are mourning the loss of ourselves-not him, that’s so,so true. It’s true, it’s not until you are away from them, look deep into yourself that you find the answers. It amazes me daily just how strong women are. Moran taing mo charaid💛💜
IWMB 💕💕

[Fergie]

KIP.

Thank you for being you. I’ve just read that post and cried. Those words are so true. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone.

Those (detail removed by Moderator) may have knocked us to the ground but this forum shows together we will always get back up

[Twisted Sister]

Oh KIP

What a post! Well done for finding that.

Keep going..

Warmest wishes

TS

[freedomtochoose]

Hello KIP,

Well done KIP for posting that,

whilst I was leaving, as you may remember from my posts – I didn’t know about this forum, and then only joined in the past few years, after ‘lurking’ on it for a whole year I think.

It is sometimes difficult but sometimes good to look back. Yesterday, battling low mood I went along the ‘tidy up – and clear out’ route. Which is often hard too, but I sat and watched a film and sorted through quite a deal of papers.

I had resolved I was going to go through the divorce papers – with a few to picking out the ones that are important going forward i.e. birth certificates, divorce, stuff about the house etc.

I have now separated these and put them in a ‘current’ folder – which has got something to do with our lives going forward. The other, really toxic ones remain in the drawer.

So I guess, like you, that is a kind of retrospective view. It wasn’t easy yesterday evening though, as I kind of had a dip after doing it. There were so many of them. And I hadn’t had the foresight to keep them in date order (something which I really recommend to anyone else). Sounds simple but some of the paperwork itself I found toxic.

I’m not going to throw them away though. It is proof of what they tried to do.
Parts of it seem unbelievable now.

Our house is calm today, ordinary routine things, still challenges but ordinary magic.

ftc
x

[KIP.]

Even little steps are positive ones x

[freedomtochoose]

You’re so right KIP. Thanks for your insights
ftc
x

[teabag]

Loved it KIP. Be super proud of yourself. X

[Author]

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