* yrs later advice needed

[threefluffs]

it’s been a few years , i’ve met someone and he is amazing and very patient and understanding with me .

thing is how do i tell my children , their dad was very emotionally manipulative when we parted ways and i took full brunt of it . i’m frightened how he will react and how my children will , one is older an older teen and one approaching their teenage years .

i don’t want them to meet yet but to no that they exist .

i hate telling little white lies when i go out.

im petrified

[Lisa]

Hi threefluffs,

Congratulations on your new relationship. It sounds supportive and lovely, which you deserve. I think it’s always difficult to let children know about a new relationship, not knowing how they will react. It’s understandable that you’re feeling scared knowing the emotional manipulation they were previously subjected to. They’re likely to have a range of different feelings about it but just being open to that and talking through things will help. It sounds like a good idea that you’re introducing the idea that this new person exists in your life and taking it gradually with them. You might find it helpful to speak with Gingerbread, they are an organisation that provides support and advice to single parents around all kinds of situations.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Eyeswideopen]

Hi, so happy for you and understand your situation. I’m also in a new relationship and hated lying to my teenage kids so gradually introduced him, said first I met somekne I liked, then that it was serious enough I’d like them to meet him etc. So now they know, but I don’t force them to meet, usually only see bf when kids with their dad. It’s difficult as I had to ask kids not to mention to their dad, as he’d surely be triggered… I didn’t ask him to lie, but just not tell, and as he doesn’t ask, its been ok.. But I still am terrified of when he finds out…

[Author]

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