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[alive]

ps
Sorry to clarify what I wrote;
‘I was better after leaving than recently, having to navigate the system…but recovering.’
I seemed to be in a better state of mind when I first left danger than the aftermath and recently having had to navigate through the system, dealing with homelessness and current lodging dynamics.

[alive]

Hi Blueberry,

Thanks for posting and sharing…. you have amazing resilience to have come thus far. I can relate to the horror.
Yes it is difficult to leave and was misundertsood and having to go no contact and changing number which seemed strange in the beginning but was imperative. Sometimes even no contact with extended family may be the safest option to till a woman and her kids are completely safe and move on as perpertrator uses them to get to the survivor.

I too have ended up frustrated and traumatised by the whole thing …the ‘system’ being misunderstood by ‘professionals’, passed from pillar to post facing homelessness and whilst having very periods and homeless- meaning we were given temp accomodation always for one night only- then back to council in the morning with no decision- (in spite of reports, proof, etc…not having access to women’s refuge when i was assessed high -risk with a lovely lady who understood… then once it got passed on, i was told i had nothing in place to pay for rent, only to find that there was no space left) so we were passed between boroughs and within the council itself. Between the refuge and them who said i was entitled to temp accomodation and council saying no reason refuge cant take us :((((
I was quite weak and dizzy from heavy period and the trauma and loads of travelling. Hence In the end a friends said there was someone with a spare room.
Long story short- having come out of the destructive marriage, I noticEd within few months – control and narcisstic tendencies from the person in the house. I put up firm and clear boundaries as lodgers for our safety n wellbeing — and noticed all sorts of covert and overt ‘tantrums’ or reaction. not going into further details for safety- it was quite a shock to my system and i got quite ill , having to also cope ptsd and severe stalking and harassment of leaving. unfortunately one year- support worker assumed i was ‘h-sensitive’ not actually knowing me and that the dynamics is not abuse as im not in a relationship. Evil of abuse, bullying and control is what it is. Is this some crazy-making?

Thanks fizzlyem, for posting. Yes it doesnt help with having those who dont understand and cause confusion to our thoughts- I was asked if I have ever been on medication for mental health- i said no. I was better after leaving than recently, having to navigate the system…but recovering.

Ayanna, great validation. “You are a fully sane person.
But you are distressed by what has happened to you. After your ordeal your stress reactions are perfectly normal”

So true that we realise who our true friends are when we open up. How do you suggest moving forward…and making new friends…I get anxious about this as i rather not talk about the past or where are you from and what do you do ?

What type of therapies are safe and for us and not traumatise further..

I find meditation on scripture helps – recognizing negative thoughts/ of the past as they come and replacing them with positive straightaway, thoughts that we are precious and loved and we have a destiny, a calling- quite a battle though and to have

First time I heard of the forum, great to chat with others who have been there…I wasnt recommended any programme or course and had to search my own..

I watched this yesterday…and was very encouraged and strengthened by it and it is free! (detail removed by Moderator) also cleared a lot of my doubts and affirmed and validated what I experienced and did not feel judged or blamed for being weak.

Hope it will help you Blueberry or anyone else on here even if it’s at least one person.

(Link removed by Moderator)

Much love

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