Annefantastic

[Annefantastic]

Yes, no contact is really important – its about not allowing your mind to cause you more suffering.
I set my email with a message to him ” your email has not been delivererd” . blocked him on facebook and sent a final email saying that all post would be returned unanswered and emails not received. Any contact could reach me only through my son (grown up) who agreed to this. Since then he has dropped all financial harrassment and agreed on some details he previously refused to settle – through email to my son.
I feel much safer. But that feeling safe thing comes and goes . I have to remind myself that I am safe when things trigger those feelings. I am grateful to have another chance to life free of fear.

[Annefantastic]

This sounds familiar to me. Its a process. First you must cut contact with him and social media links etc. Get some support. Local Womens aid are great. There are often twice weekly drop ins after initial visit. You will find support there even friends. Next is to ’embrace the uncomfortable’.. the old relaitonship felt comfortable. You have to embrace a new life that feels compeltely uncomforable until it becomes comfortable. A healthier life. You can honour the love you felt and the joys were created by you .. and you own them. This new life .. another chance. . later you will see that you can invite good things into your life.. keep up the excercise and stuff that is good for you. Write daily.. a journal. Keep a list of the triggers that upset you daily and have a mantra to replace the bad feelings with ‘unfamiliar’ – but healthy ones.. I wish myself and the people around me well.. The universe has good things for me. I am grateful for life today.. be in the moment .step back and notice yourself and the trees .. things around you. When the triggers come.. stop .. breath.. and chose the unfamiliar healthy response. . say it out loud to yourself.. .. get 5 hugs a day if you can from female friends, your kids etc. If you get into grief and hurt only allow yourself a time limit .. 10 mins.. then run dance, write and be grateful for life and small things.. hugs to you sister

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