Applepear

[Applepear]

Hello, thank you so much for your advice. Since joining this forum I have learnt a lot and it has helped to validate my feelings. I think it’s quite normal to try and forget about the bad times as they can be quite upsetting to think about.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Leaving can be really difficult especially when you feel guilty. I try to remind myself constantly that I haven’t done anything wrong. Even if he hadn’t hurt me and the relationship had been healthy, I’d still have the right to leave him. I’m allowed to break up with someone regardless of anything else. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

I think KIP’s reply in this thread about baby steps is really helpful. It’s not always as easy as just leaving and cutting off contact. I haven’t been able to do that yet. Even doing doing something small towards leaving can feel like a lot.

Sending you love and strength x

[Applepear]

Hi snowy 123,

Thank you for your reply, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Leaving is such a confusing and painful experience but I think that talking about it shows a lot of strength.

When you care about someone a lot it’s easy to make excuses for the things they do and. for me, I find myself dwelling on the good times because it is less painful than thinking about the bad times. I can really relate to what you say about feeling heartbroken even though I know that I couldn’t stay in that situation.

I’ll definitely take a look at the book you’ve recommended as it sounds like it could be really helpful.

I’m glad to hear that you have left, even though it must be very hard.
Sending my love and support to you x

[Applepear]

Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot knowing someone has taken the time to listen to how I’m feeling without judging x

[Applepear]

Thanks so much for your reply KIP. I know that everything you’re saying is true. I actually tried journaling like you suggested and it was one of the things that gave me the strength to leave. I did find it quite traumatic though and so I have avoided doing it again but I think I need to remind myself of the bad things so I can be strong enough to completely cut contact. I know what I have to do but like you said, it can be hard when they know how to make you feel guilty.

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