Thank you so much for responding and for your kind words. I was worried I had gone into to much detail.
I had counciling for a short while after the abortion and the self harm was touched upon then. I think it’s under control since the relationship initially ended a few years ago.
I’ve researched into the cycle of abuse and it is all so relatable. I also hear what my loved ones around me say but it’s like there is this wall up refusing to let me acknowledge the truth. I hear it but I also don’t really hear it if that makes any sense. I make excuses and fiercely defend the relationship. Did you find this to begin with?
Trauma bonding also sounds rather relatable seeing as my previous step father was abusive to my mother before she found her freedom with the help of women’s aid. How would I learn to release myself from this pattern of behaviour though? My mum said she found her own freedom and strength for her children.
