Butterflies

[Butterflies]

I managed to get in touch with a local domestic abuse support worker and have been assigned someone, unfortunately she has a backlog and thinks it will be weeks before I will hear from her. Her Colleague informed me I’m not required to attend mediation as he is controlling and emotionally abusive and I can no longer communicate with him as he talks over the top of me or pretends he doesn’t understand and it goes round and round and I get too tired and lose my thoughts. I was advised to contact a local law firm to get help with a prohibited steps order but turns out they can’t help as currently no one deals with family law. I need to phone another place but had been advised it’s going to cost £250+ VAT per hour and I just currently don’t have that amount of money.
I feel now it’s so close to Christmas I just don’t want to uproot the little one..I won’t leave till I have something legal in place as I know he will show up and take LO from school, he will then prevent me from seeing him and will tell LO I have left him and I’m not coming back…I’m trying to protect LO from this..The school also said without a court order they cannot prevent him collecting his son.
His mother is currently very ill and my concern is once she passes he will become even more nasty and spiteful and will do everything to take son into full custody and turn him against me. He has a lot of savings and mortgage nearly paid off and will get a nice little sum once Mother passes, so It’s really not good for me…anyway sorry i’m rambling…
Wish you all the best ILikechicken and hope you can escape soon.

[Butterflies]

Hi IlikeChicken, Yes I know what you mean. my ex is the same only wants 50/50 as it makes him look good and means he won’t have to pay for his son to live elsewhere as he thinks he has a perfectly good home there with him and I’m the one ruining it.
I’ve spoken to a local service and they are referring me to mash (Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub) as she said there are some concerns with information I gave her. I have a flat to move to although I know if I move behind his back he will do anything to spite me and that would include taking our (detail removed by moderator) and telling him I’m not coming back. I also don’t wish to prevent him seeing his daddy but also know he shows no regards to me as a person let alone as a Mother…If I try to manage it by talking to him he will not agree to anything…So I’m stuck!

I didn’t know you can get a temporary residence order until custody is decided..we haven’t attended mediation as he says no one can tell him when he can see his son and I spoke to 3 local agency and they wouldn’t book me when I said he was refusing…

Hoping Mash will phone me today. I have to get away from him.

I hope you can move forward soon.

Sending HUgs

[Butterflies]

HI ILikeChicken,

I’m in a similar position, exhausted from years of emotional abuse from my now ex…I have a flat to move to but don’t know how to with my son, He has made me feel I’m doing everything behind his back and I know he will kick off if I take the LO. I have spoken to his school and she said they cannot prevent him collecting him until I have a court order. He was made redundant (Detail removed by Moderator) and just started taking LO from Nursery – made out he was helping me but actually it wasn’t helpful as he didn’t inform me beforehand so I still rushed out of work stressing I wouldn’t make it on time..He has told me no one is going anywhere till he gets a fully agreed legally recorded parental plan in place, However he does not believe anyone can tell him when he can see his child so has refused (only verbally) to attend mediation or agree any parental plan. He has also said he wants complete 50/50 but only on his terms, so address of school will remain at his home, does not want school notified of our separation and all other records to be with him as that’s where Lo has always lived and he will not pay for his son to live elsewhere when he has a perfectly good home there with him… and since I’m the one breaking up our family says I should be the one to leave and leave LO behind…I’m exhausted and can’t even talk to him anymore…He has never taken any actual responsibility for our son, tells him you need new clothes – tell your mum to buy some, tell your mum it’s bedtime…Apparently I have to ask him if I need him to put Lo to bed or pick him up from school.

Did you manage to get out yet ILikeChicken?

Sending you hugs my dear.

(initial removed by Moderator)

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