Basically when I used to sleep with my ex I would try to make sure I was drunk. Sometimes so drunk that my mind shut off and my body performed without thinking and without feeling. I used to drink nearly every night which I now know, through counselling, that it was my coping mechanism. Now there have been 2 occasions where I have been with someone new, got drunk and basically reverted to autopilot and tried to have sex with him. He has not wanted too as he saw me as too drunk but apparently I have been quiet persistent and willing almost to the point of practically trying to force him to. I have no memory of any of this and am horrified. After speaking to my counsellor I was given a link to read about unconscious body memory after domestic abuse and just wondered if anyone else had dealt with this?
I have now been referred for more in depth counselling and have decided to stop drinking for good as I do not want that to ever happen again.
I’m so disturbed that I let his level of abuse do something like that to me for so long
