Glampinggirl

[Glampinggirl]

Mine threatened to tell my boss that I was faking illness when I took sick leave during pregnancy.

He cross referenced my symptoms with his mother who agreed I was faking and gave him a photo of her mowing the lawn the day before she birthed him.

[Glampinggirl]

Calling me a bad mother is part of the verbal abuse I experience. I am not a bad mother and neither are you. He reels off stuff like:

– they’re behind at school because of you – but they are not behind.

– you stick them on screens all day – I don’t yet he will happily give them iPads on v long train journeys (detailed removed by Moderator).

– you only arrange play dates so that you don’t have to interact with them – ridiculous, they love their friends coming over. They only see his family when he has them.

– you let them get in your bed because you want them to be babies forever. They aren’t allowed in his room until after (detailed removed by Moderator).

– you feed them crap. I actually cook and bake whereas he regularly gives them tinned food, burgers and tons of sweets.

– they’ll turn out like my older sons (both lovely, professional decent young men).

– you sent your (detailed removed by Moderator) to boarding school because you couldn’t be bothered with him. He was (detailed removed by Moderator) and elected to go, had a great time and excelled in his studies.

– your family hate you. My sons love me.

– your friends think you’re toxic. He latched onto a former friend who I dropped because she was flirting with my ex husband.

– your colleagues have issues with you. I complained of being bullied by a former boss, as did (detailed removed by Moderator) other people.

– you only do stuff with them that you like. I found then a football team and pay all the subs. I take them to museums, exhibitions, theatre, cinema and historical buildings. He hates all of the above.

– I remember when you hit [our son]. I didn’t, I went to grab him to stop him falling (detailed removed by Moderator) and caught his neck, whereas social services because involved after he hit them and they told their teacher.

I could go on. Trouble is, when people meet him, the first thing they say is ‘he’s so charming, what a lovely dad’. People choose to ignore my version of him because he can put on the ‘great dad’ cloak, has a good job and a posh voice, buy everyone drinks and call the kids darling.

Phew, typing that out was cathartic!

[Glampinggirl]

This sounds v familiar. In my case it’s been going on for nearly (detailed removed by Moderator) years. I can’t ever tell whether we’re on or off as we live separately. I’m sworn at, insulted, gas lighted (he even reads books on narcissism and quotes out of them to try to convince me it’s me not him).

I wish I hadn’t got back together with him all those years ago on a promise of a wonderful life together (he said he’d changed and we went through IVF to have our children). As soon as they were born he left me.

He says I have to earn his respect. Let’s face it, it’ll never happen. It’s their way of retaining the upper hand. Good luck.

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