I feel some comfort in knowing that missing my ex is a normal feeling. He was like my comfort blanket when I felt unsafe even though he would put me in danger and physically hurt me. The mental abuse is the hardest for me to grasp right now I’m left questioning what was real and what wasn’t. He always told me I was hard work and too much and that everyone leaves me. I’m left thinking maybe staying with him for the times he was nice is better than not having him at all? (detail removed by Moderator) have intervened and took the control out of my hands which some days I feel grateful for but some days I feel so upset and confused. It makes me feel isolated that he is living life like nothing happened and that all his friends and family adore him after what’s happened. Which they all witnessed him do. Does everyone think I’m crazy or do they label this behaviour as normal?
I’ve been researching coercive control, stone walling, triangulation, the trauma bond but Is there any courses or websites to help after you leave in terms of exercises to do to work through these emotions? I am terrified that I end up in another abusive relationship. Although I don’t have the daily walking on egg shells I actually feel worse because I don’t have have any of the good times anymore :(:(
