Hi Darcy
Thank you so much for your reply, I know I do make a lot of excuses for his behaviour. Up until last year I considered it all normal, until 2 mental health professionals pointed it out it wasn’t and I needed to speak help, I ponder on it but for such a long time he is all I have known, I know I do have deep routed attachment issues. Even though I can see every single thing in front of my eyes the ‘nobody is perfect’ ‘ marriage is something you always need to work on’ ‘causing unnecessary trauma to the children by going through a divorce’ holds me back. I tried to leave a few yrs ago and he told the children that it was all my fault and he wouldn’t be able to see them again as he would go back to his old job not in this country. He changed for a short period of time like always after I have “nagged” at him then switched back.
I will look into the options you mentioned. Thank you so much xx