pumpkin

[pumpkin]

Thank you Lisa. It’s a mind trap trying to make sense of it and very strangely there is love and affection on his side on the other spectrum of all this but I do wonder if that’s a neediness and my perceived acceptance of DM makes it ok to act this way. Anyway many thanks for replying.

[pumpkin]

Hi there
Am new here. I haven’t told one person about my experience as I am too ashamed, don’t like drama and find it embarrassing. However, even though th violence is never consistent and hasn’t always been often, it’s starting to get unhingingly unpredictable, with drink playing a main fueller of it. On a bad note, I got head butted, pulled by my hair and and slapped in the forehead one night last week and had to take two days off work because of the bruising on my nose and eye and frankly, because my spirit was broken. On a good note, I have been lucky enough to have time to myself and I found me again. He is a nightmare when he is drunk, stressed and anxious (with little effort to cut back even after I screamed your alcohol problem did this, pointing at my eye), it’s not all bad and he is not controlling of my life or jealous but I am finally learning that none of It is acceptable and that the bad is outweighing the good now. And of course it was my fault there was an atmosphere in the house after all this, because I was hurt, at my lowest, it was still my doing. What I cannot work out is how to leave. I am hoping that it won’t take an incredible beating for me to finally turn. We are not married and a solicitor told me I could get a court order and get him out. But Then everyone will know and I will get blamed for his demise. I would like a clean break, the end, sell the house and go amicably, is this not possible? I’ve mentioned splitting up but he won’t pursue the conversation unless he’s drunk and then just tells me to F off then. I feel for all of you out there as these people are professional, even if unintentional soul killers. Sorry to have gone on a bit. A friend of mine went through a violent relationship but I still can’t tell her. It brings more pressure somehow. Can Anyone else relate?

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