Purplegirl

[Purplegirl]

Thank you xxxx

[Purplegirl]

I did the videolink interview i just cant stop thinking what if ive missed things out what he said and did? How he threatened that i hadnt got anyone and would be homeless if i told anyone, and that people would think im a bad mum if i said anything. Im panicking now what if there isnt enough evidence or enough in statements, it just doesnt feel right speaking to someone so technical over the little detail what went where so intimately and to a man who ive never met before. I just feel like he will get away with it all .. i cant remember every thing and keep going over and over it all in my head. Ive read if theres not enough info it will get dropped. Wont they even take all his controlling into it all the months before. What if he gets away with it all? He will make our lives hell. I am panicking so much going over and over everything.. hes so clever im sure he will get away with it all. What if ive forgotten other bits or should of said more info stuff. What if no one believes me he always said no one would..what if hes right.

[Purplegirl]

Thanks Kip. Its the not knowing whats hppening or going to happen next that worries me. I had a better day yesterday but then this morning feel down again and then start thinking so much.

[Purplegirl]

The police came on tuesday and took my statement for the stalking and for the first rape. The officer said i didnt need to go into detail of the others as i would have to do a video interview. They said it would get passed to the relevant dept. But since then its been quiet ive not heard anything today or yesterday. Kids schools have been great for safe guarding re the stalking until non molestation order gets put into place. But now im panicking and getting worked up to what happens next. Do you think they would of spoke to ex yet? Or not until ive made full statements? I just feel like a nervous wreck.

[Purplegirl]

hi no i hadnt heard of Paladin. thank you x

[Purplegirl]

Thank you both, my Support worker has just left, she has told me to start from the begining when the police come to take statements tomorrow, I feel so ashamed, where do I start?? last time they took statements I never told them about the sexual abuse and the rapes because I was scared and ashamed, I still am now but its the fear of what hes doing now is making me more scared as I don’t want to be in any position for him to get near me again. ive got more support now than I did last time and its the support that has made me realise I do need to tell the Police everything so they take it seriously and deal with him.. I am just scared, thinking wont they wonder why I haven’t told them before, why did I let it carry on how it did, ive talked to no one in detail over the rapes and just don’t know how to approach it..feel so used. I just know I need too, to know he hasn’t hurt my children too. he works in a job with the public too and trust, have I left myself and my children down for only reporting the emotional abuse and not the sexual so far?? even people I don’t know. my head is all of the place, ive been trying to write things down but cant concentrate. just feel so lost at the minute, ive gone a week now with eating nothing and hardly any sleep which isn’t helping. xxx

[Purplegirl]

Thank you all. As of yet social services haven’t been involved but I have a feeling after Tuesday they will be and I am scared stiff of that, I think its because all you hear about them isn’t good. I am really dreading tomorrow and Tuesday but know its got to be done. Just don’t know where to start with everything, do I start with the recent events of following and stalking etc or all the earlier events of sexual and physical abuse which I hadn’t told them in the past as I felt ashamed, hurt, alone and scared what would happen if I did. Just so much going around in my head at the minute xxxx

[Purplegirl]

i have been in touch with my support worker today and she has told me to ring the police and report it, my friend was here with me when she rang so he dialled 101 for me and put me on, they are coming to take statements (detail removed by Moderator) as I said I didn’t want kids here. I feel so ashamed and so scared. my support worker is trying to sort window alarms and a pride alarm to for the house. its like being a prisoner in your own home all over again. Just feel like I have let myself and the kids down. I moved over (detail removed by Moderator) to be with him because he wouldn’t move for me..looking back now I can see why he has done it.. but at the time I had lost my mum only (detail removed by Moderator) before and I thought fresh start you only live once and all that. I had known him for years before we got together so it wasn’t like I didn’t know him. but as soon as we moved he changed, he stopped me seeing my friends, stopped me going back to what was home to see friends, he blocked any other people locally too. kids weren’t allowed friends around, kids weren’t allowed to watch tv nothing. where he used to be good with my special needs son he turned totally the opposite and made everything worse. I have no self confidence, nothing now. feel like hes took years away from me. I have three kids with (detail removed by Moderator) between each so each have different emotions and handling it all differently. feel like ive let them all down and not protected them. I feel so alone as I now have no friends and the ones I did have he has drove them away

[Author]

Posts