Saturn

[Saturn]

Thank you again KIP.this is really helping me. I need advice on where to go where to research to try and understand. I’ve been on here before like I say bit I need reminding as I seem to have buried most of the typical behaviours or patterns. I see what you mean he was trying to please me by cleaning. He still is adamant I belittled him by asking him to calm down but I haven’t backed down and said sorry. I almost did but haven’t yet. He’s gone to the shop now to get bread. He said he’s going to stop drinking to make a point that he hasn’t got a problem but I think he’ll come back from shop with booze and make some excuse. Right before he left he cried and he never cries. I felt bad and wanted to hug him ao I did. I know Im being a fool but I don’t like seeing anyone upset. I’ve been crying too as our daughter begged me not to fall out with him. This makes me feel horrid. I was trying to whisper when talking to him but he was talking loudly so I had to stop the conversation. He’s back I have to go… Thank you for responding it really means a lot… oh and yes he has booze with him. I knew it….

[Saturn]

No you’re right. He’s nicer behaved that way inform of anyone at work or his family. Once he got very aggresive in front of a friend of mine and was screaming in her face. Id rang her afraid because he was msashing things and punching doors. I don’t see that friend anymore. We text but don’t meet up. It would be too awkward. This is going back several years. I got skinking feeling of realisation when I read your reply. Thank you for replying it means a lot. He is now cleaning the house from top to bottom and I am hiding trying to stay out his way in the bathroom. He never does this. Never will he clean or Hoover etc without me asking or nagging as he puts it. He normally says weekends are for resting and I need to chill out so I end up killing myself doing it. I have arthritis and suffer eibadly with my back. Not sure why hrs doing al the housework… is it a game to make me feel bad? Is it to prove he’s a good husband after me asking him to calm down? He’s been to AA for his drinking in past but didn’t stick to it. I honestly believe he went to stop me leaving him.we were vwry close to breaking up at the time because he ruined my birthday with drunken outburst. This was again few years ago but hit was horrible. He was punching walls and leaning over me in bed telling me I was out of order. All because I wanted to go bed and not stay up and watch tv with him. I am so sad but feel angry with myself that I don’t have guts to ask him to go. I don’t know where he would go though. He does not have any close friend he could stsy with. He cut his fsmily out of his life years ago too. His mother is a similar chapter I do not miss her in our lives having said that. I am close to my mum but she is vwry old fashioned and I think she would expect me to make it work.

[Author]

Posts