Sunshinegirlie

[Sunshinegirlie]

That’s actually quite normal to feel like that after leaving the abuser. Your confidence will come back. It literally takes time and healing. He love bombed you really hard and that’s why you feel worthless. But sweetheart, you are NOT worthless. It takes incredible strength to leave an abusive relationship. You are amazing and deserve to be happy and treated right. I totally understand that trying to date again and not being told all those wonderful things right away and constantly feels weird. But it’s normal and healthy. It’s NOT normal to be constantly complimented. We all have bad days and that’s normal too. But keep trying. You need to continue staying away from him and not having any kind of contact. He’s not good for you. Start some new hobbies or pick up an old hobby and do what makes you happy. Start taking mental trips to your happy place and I mean a literal place not your bed or his arms. Like your favorite vacation spot or some hiking trail that brings you inner peace. I started doing yoga and meditating to help find inner peace

[Sunshinegirlie]

So right now it seems you are struggling to break the trauma bond. Which is 100% understandable and really hard to do. I think I was able to break my trauma bond because my ex rarely said nice things to me. I don’t actually have a lot of good memories to trap myself in thinking I made a mistake. But the thing is you DID NOT make a mistake by leaving. Whether you realize it or not but you actually took the first step in your healing and self love journey. You finally put yourself first. You realized it wasn’t safe/healthy to stay with him and you left. I get it tho and I understand that leaving was definitely the easy part, it’s the staying gone and away that’s the HARDEST part. I literally cried and cried and forced myself to block him on everything. I even changed all my passwords to emails, Facebook, etc etc along with changing my phone number. Changing my phone number had a huge blessing that I didn’t realize right away. Since it was literally a brand new number he couldn’t have known about it shut off a lot of anxiety. I never worry when a new number from the state where he lives calls me because he can’t be him at all. It also erases all temptation of texting/calling him because 1. He doesn’t answer numbers he doesn’t know but 2. It would literally hand him a way to contact me. I force myself everyday not to think about him because he doesn’t exist in my reality anymore. What does exist in my reality is ME. I’m the most important thing in my reality just as you are in your own reality. You have got to put yourself first and continue to put yourself first. It feels selfish but honestly it’s not at all. You matter so much more than what you think. Surround yourself with people who support you and only do things to encourage you to heal and grow. It’s a hard process learning who you are but it’s still worth it. My counselor is amazing and reminds me every time I see her that I’m so much stronger than that I ever thought and guess what so are you. It took incredible strength to walk away. No one can take that from you. I tell myself everyday “I got this” and “this too shall pass”. My favorite quotes. Keep up the good hard work. Each day that passes without him is a day you become a little more stronger and things get a little more easier. We all have bad days which is normal and understandable. Just try not to let it become more than just a singular bad day occasionally

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