Susan apollo

[Susan apollo]

Thank you Ribena

[Susan apollo]

So what on earth is this over the top and strong idealization at the beginning of the relationship all about? He told me it was ‘for ever’ and that he had my back 110%. How/why could he go from this to such anger and hate so quickly? I try to love everyone and help them out, there are many special people in my life, friends etc and they tell me I’m not a horrid person. I know he has addiction problems/ex prison/abandonment issues and he told me he was a reformed character and into buddism and helping others. He even goes round picking up litter and talking in depth about nature. I feel like I have now abandoned him and he is going to be in a mess. It’s like I can hear how stupid I’m being and I am torn.

[Susan apollo]

My goodness. thank you sisters. I spoke with a lady on the helpline who helped me rationalise these and many other incidents. She alerted me to the ‘brainwashing’ tactics of abusive men. This man has many issues and was beginning to work at chipping away my self esteem and my understanding of reality. He told me ‘you are so far removed from reality it’s untrue’.
I’m trying to spend lots of time with friends and family I’ve known for many years. I’ve told as many people as I can the whole story, as I have realised I was already beginning to edit the whole relationship and cover for his bad behaviour.
I’m tired and vulnerable but working on really understanding just how much I’ve dodged a bullet.
doesn’t mean to say that I’m not still thinking of him and wanting to contact him though.

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