Wantingpeace

[Wantingpeace]

Hi Lisa. Thank you for your advice. I am already receiving support from the local DA service. Even with support though, each day is extremely hard. He is torturing me in every way he can possibly think of. I just hate living like this. It’s affecting every member of my family. They have to go through this nightmare with me trying to support and protect me the best way they can. It’s just unbearable.

[Wantingpeace]

I am going to the Police today and I am scared beyond words. If you read all my post you will read what torture I’ve been through and even though I left him a few months ago the abuse still keeps coming and he ramped it up a to another level last night.
Sending a big hug from an equally scared victim xx

[Wantingpeace]

Yes the police have made a report on him. I keep meaning to look into the Claires law thing as I know he has a past of domestic abuse but the couple of times that I’ve been to the police recently i get in such a state that I forget to ask x
They have got enough evidence to arrest him but because of the house situation I’m trying to hold out. As soon as I sell and I certainly won’t be holding back x

[Wantingpeace]

Hi ts.
To be fare I feel safer at my parents as they are on (detail removed by moderator) with lots of neighbours. My house is right out in the sticks miles away from anyone. Even if I could turf him out I would be scared stiff being out there on my own. I just hope to god it sells very quickly x
Take care x

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you Glasshalf. I’m currently staying with my parents whilst he is in the house. There is no way I want to be under the same roof as him. I’m actually having a better day today. I done something positive with my son and have been to see some new build houses. I know it’s early days as my house is only just about to go on the market but it felt so good to do something for me, my boy and our future x
I hope you can find your way out of it soon.
Big hugs sent xx

[Wantingpeace]

I have blocked him on the platforms where he can see if I’ve read them or not. Unfortunately I have to keep some form of contact as I need to sell our house….thats another story. I put all of my previous property plus a lot of cash savings into buying what was once (detail removed by moderator). He’s only put in a very small amount. He owns a (detail removed by moderator) with a flat in which he rents out plus he has another house which he rents out. We took a very small mortgage on top of all my money to buy our current house and the money from one of his rentals pays for the mortgage which I can’t afford on my own. He’s living in that house (detail removed by moderator) coming and going whilst I’m living out of a suitcase at my parents. I own everything in the house as he left the very little he had in his flat. It’s so so difficult as when he’s in his abusive mood he tells me that he will stop paying the mortgage the house will get repossessed and I will end up with absolutely nothing. My son never moved in with us for obvious reasons but it’s all his bedroom furniture. It makes me sick that him and his daughters are reaping the benefits of all what I have got and put in. I need to sell it ASAP x

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you again for the support.
My counsellor suggested I did the same as to write things down and how it made me feel. I very nearly ran back to him this morning on my way back from the counsellor. I’m glad I found the inner strength not to and now that wave of pulling emotion has subsided a little xx

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you again. All what you say makes sense. He used to say after being aggressively jealous that I should be be grateful that it shows me how much he’s into me and how much he loves me !! The same with the violent ubuse when he didn’t get sex. He used to come up with a lame excuse telling me that he couldn’t bare not to have sex because he loved me so much !! Since the start of this relationship I’ve always deep down known that it was all wrong but I still went back time and time again. It got to the point that it destroyed my relationship with my son who I’d always had an immensely close relationship with. My boy saw me with the ripped clothes, cuts and bruises time and time again and because I was so scared of my partner kicking off every time I was with my son I ended up putting him first just to stop his anger and jealousy. I’ve cried so many tears as my boy means absolutely everything to me and I let my partner destroy that. Hopefully I can build bridges with my son and get back to how our relationship was before I let this man into my life. He is a good, loving,sensitive, hardworking boy who never deserved his life to be torn apart by this man x

[Wantingpeace]

Hi minimeerkat. Thank you for your response. Since I’ve left I’ve read three books already and have done alot of online research. It almost feels like I’m obsessed trying to find things that doest make him an abusive man and that he really does love me and that he is genuinely sorry. The more I read the more it confirms that I’ve been a victim. I have got the support from local domestic abuse people and also the police.
My first marriage wasn’t abusive at all. Unfortunately he had a fling when our son was only (detail removed by Moderator) old but he was deeply remorseful and we went on to have many more years together. I guess I fell out of love with him but stayed because I wanted to give our son the best possible life I could give him. We had nice holidays, lovely houses and cars but for me I always new that I would leave when the time was right. We even went on to live together (albeit in separate bedrooms) (detail removed by Moderator) after I told him I wanted to leave. I never felt unsafe with him. I can reassure myself that I had a normal calm (detail removed by Moderator) years with him and that it’s only my current abusive partner that has driven me insane x

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you StrongLife. I guess it’s true what they say about time being a great healer. I just cant see passed the jumbled mess in my head at the moment. I feel weak, confused, sad, tearful, lost and broken and can’t imagine not feeling this way x

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you again minimeerkat for some much need support. Its reassuring to know that these feelings are a normal process of leaving an abusive relationship.
Big hug sent back to you xx

[Wantingpeace]

Thank you Twisted Sister. I do try to keep myself distracted and try not to be alone at any time.
I’ve just sat through a counselling session in tears as I’m really struggling with the separation . Even though this guy has mentally and physically abused me I still love him deeply for some bizarre reason and the thought of not having him in my life and him moving to the next woman is just so heartbreaking for me. I walked away from my previous long term marriage (my sons father) quite easily.He never treated me as bad as what this guy has and for various reasons I simply fell out of love with him and it was all very amicable at the end. But with this one I seem to have this intense love which I can’t get rid of. I’m trying to fight with all my might not to get pulled back in. I’ve tried to leave a million times and this is the longest period of time that I’ve done and its killing me. I know for sure though that the same cycle of abuse will reoccur if I give in so I need to stay focussed and strong albeit so damn hard x

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