22nd August 2020 at 11:15 am #112615songbird1Participant
Hey lovely ladies,
I have taken a massive break from this site and have been burying my head in the sand, ignoring my feelings. Sometimes things can get overwhelming and it’s easier to just pretend everything is fine, which we know is bad but hey, we’re all human!
I’ve come back to the site in hopes of finding someone from the muslim community to talk to and help me understand a few things. I’m British but reverted to islam a few years ago when I met my partner. I feel like as time has gone on, there are more rules and regulations that my partner tells me of, that seem to benefit him far more than me and because I dont have muslim friends to talk to about it, it leaves me wondering if it’s true or to go with my gut when it seems wrong. Im very independent and always have been but I feel like he wants me to be someone I’m not.
Any sisters who can help me out?
23rd August 2020 at 8:46 pm #112658LisaMain Moderator
Welcome back to the Forum! I hope you find the support you are looking for.
Just to say if you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (weekdays 10am – 4pm and 10am – 12pm weekends). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here: https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/
Believe in yourself- you shouldn’t have to change for someone else.
24th August 2020 at 4:17 pm #112689EggshellsParticipant
Hi Songbird1. Just trying to bump your post in the hope that someone who can help will spot it.
I really don’t know anything about Islam but I’m pretty sure that just like Christianity and the Bible, the Quran can be interpreted in many different ways to suit different people’s ideologies.
Have you tried calling your local DV charity? They may be able to put you in touch with an Islamic support worker. xx
16th April 2021 at 12:45 pm #124861Rosarybeads1Participant
I am a Muslim and I am going through spiritual Abu abuse where isolated verses are used to control women. Luckily I have good friends and family learned in the religion who have helped me see how wrong my controlling partner is.
I would advise you to search YouTube, many scholars are talking about these matters finally. Spiritual, mental, verbal, emotional abuse are not allowed in Islam and are grounds for separation.
I have lost myself in this suffering for (detail removed by Moderator) years, and hope to do something about it. All I know is, it is wrong.
23rd May 2021 at 3:11 pm #126229ZiggyParticipant
Salaam wa rahmatullah.
You posted a fair while back, but maybe this will find you. I pray you are doing well.
Unfortunately some Muslims come from countries that have some pretty messed up aspects to their cultures. And often, people merge the problems of their cultures and pass it off as religion, to suit their own needs. It’s both disgusting and manipulative.
I think it’s important to have access to the right support and knowledge. Do you have a support network in place? And do you have anyone that you turn to for spiritual guidance?
I know being a revert can itself be very challenging and more often than not, both isolating and lonely. I hope this isn’t the case for you. But can imagine how difficult it is having a manipulative partner on top of existing struggles.
I’m a British Muslim. Not a revert exactly, but have only officially considered myself muslim for the last (detail removed by moderator) or so. Please don’t hesitate to drop me a message if you’d like to do so.
I pray that you’re well and your situation gets easier 💚
10th February 2022 at 3:58 pm #138741AngeltakemehomeParticipant
What rules and regulations is he telling you sister? I am also a revert.
13th April 2022 at 7:35 pm #141839GoldenFishParticipant
I hope you’re well. If you come back here again and read this message, don’t bury your head in the sand, please. What feels to you as abuse cannot be justified by any rules and regulations of any religion or make it right to be inflicted on you. Abuse is abuse and it will catch-up with you when you have nearly lost your soul. You may seek validation from Muslim scholars but at the end of the day, this is your life and if you feel the way you do you may just try to justify his behaviour of the name of religion or culture. You need a partner in a relationship, not a religious debate. Don’t get hung up on the religious idea. Don’t allow yourslef to be more and more restricted, isolated or co-dependent. Best of luck
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