bluePetal

[bluePetal]

Hi all, I’m new, I’ve been in an abusive marriage for the past (detail removed by moderator)., I didn’t know it abuse I was suffering up until it starting affecting my work life. But the penny still didn’t drop, I still couldn’t see it. it was during lockdown when it came to a head-on, my ex started emotionally abusing my (detail removed by moderator) to the point where she started having severe anxiety attacks, I could bare to her in soo much pain. My son had told me he would kick me out of the house, kids questioned me that I was having an affair. My ex would belittle me, push me around the kitchen,so much happened that I started blocking it all out for the sake of my kids. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone – Please leave you are making it harder for your children, it has traumatized my children who are between (detail removed by moderator).
.He would use our kids to emotionally abuse me, I just kept quiet and took the crap. I felt like it wasn’t me this person, sometimes I blamed myself. it’s hard to explain it’s like living in a trance (you’re there but not there). In (detail removed by moderator) took the courage and went to the police station and reported him, he was arrested the same evening. It all kicked off with my kids they blamed me, even though they knew what their dad was like.
He was on bail till (detail removed by moderator) when CPS dropped the case due to lack of evidence. I was surprised he had financially abused me and I didn’t know (detail removed by moderator). I have given bank statements of the joint account showing (detail removed by moderator). I have started divorce proceedings he wants half the house, even though he has never contributed towards it. my solicitor has said to me I should offer him a (detail removed by moderator) payout and keep the house, but what about the financial abuse I have suffered does that not count for anything. I am so confused i want to keep the family home for children the bank has said i can take ownership of the mortgage as i am working and can manage the mortgage payments. I am just so confused. Sorry, I just feel like my brain has 100 tabs open and I’m drowning in the fact that I don’t know what to do.

[bluePetal]

Hi, yes agree with what you are saying, it’s like the simple of things taking meter readings, ringing to get boiler cover. Even joining this forum it seems like a massive job until it was done. It definitely is draining. On some days I question myself did is all happen, how can an educated person not know what is normal behavior. When I watch my kids I blame myself. I should have just walk out ages ago 🙁
I will order a copy of the book you have recommended.

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