Calm and happy

[Calm and happy]

I am still living with my husband even though the divorce process is underway. It’s really hard but he won’t leave and I can’t put my children through the stress of leaving. I know there is an end in sight and it won’t be like this for ever. It’s been bad for so long that I have learnt to live with it. But now I know I don’t have to live with it for ever – I keep thinking of where I will be in a year’s time and that is what keeps me going. I cry every day and feel very anxious but it won’t last for ever and we will have our calm and happy life – what everyone deserves.

[Calm and happy]

Hi Lisa, thank you for your message. I am very lucky as I’ve had amazing support from Women’s Aid and counselling from the beginning of the year. The advice, support and information I have been given has been invaluable. I recommend anyone in a similar situation to access the services Women’s Aid offer – talking to someone who really ‘gets it’ has been so helpful. I’m going in the right direction of my journey now and feel so relieved that I’ve made the decision to build a better life for myself and for my children. I couldn’t let them continue to witness me being treated in an abusive way – they needed to know that it was so wrong and not how a relationship is supposed to be. I am having more down days than good ones at the moment. But at some point that will change and life will get better. I try to look for good moments in every day and make the most of them.

[Calm and happy]

Hi, we are living under the same roof and it’s hard. But it’s been hard for such a long time. I know at least there will be an end to it at some point, now I’ve taken action and the divorce is proceeding. In the end it was my only option – I keep waiting for him to change and finally realised that I was the only one prepared to make a change by starting divorce proceedings. He thought I would never be strong enough. But enough was enough and I realised if I wanted to have a happy future with my children I had to act. It’s been really hard and I’m anxious most of the time but at least there is light at the end of the tunnel now. You will know when the time is right for you to act – we all deserve a calm and happy life – as I keep telling my teenagers.

[Calm and happy]

Thank you. It’s lovely to read your kind words. Being kind is so important and I need to remember there are lots of lovely people. It’s too easy to blame myself for everything even though I know I am not the problem.

[Calm and happy]

Hi Hazydayz, yes I’m new here. Thank you for your support – it’s so kind of you to reply. I’m very lucky as I have such good support from family and friends but life can still seem so lonely, at times. I know things will eventually get better, but it just seems as if I am at the bottom of a huge mountain at the moment. One day at a time is what I’m trying to think about but my mind just keeps racing ahead with all the ‘what ifs’.

[Calm and happy]

Weekends are just a time when I am stuck with my husband for even more time than during the week (he has been working since (detail removed by Moderator) and no sign of him going back to the office). I can’t relax in my own house. I try to be out as much as I can, seeing family and friends but that is quite exhausting. I have started divorce proceedings so there is an end in sight but it seems interminable right now.

[Calm and happy]

@Beautiful day, thank you for your kind words. It has taken me years to get to this point and I can’t even remember when the abuse really started. But once I started Women’s Aid counselling and had seen a solicitor it was obvious to me that I really had no choice but to start a divorce. It was, and still is, making me unwell but I know now that it won’t be like this for ever and that is empowering. I feel like I have lost myself over the last few years but I am determined to find that person that I once was, again. You will find the strength to do what is best for you – I hope this helps you on your journey.

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