CarryOn

[CarryOn]

THank you for your replies. read them a few times and they are very wise words which I am so grateful for. ‘ we are you and you are us’. that is so true.

I’ve contacted local WA again but the solicitor they gave me was the one who told me he’d have lots of contact. Becasue he’s been around them since they were born.

I feel like the worst mum in the world for allowing this to go on. I have felt so confused and tied up – I didn’t want to leave and risk him coming after me for my whole life, taking my kids and making my life hell. I have seen the extent of his hatred for others and I have been trying to avoid that directed at me.
as usual with these blokes he can be amazingly loving, caring and kind. typical trap. It’s hard to choose a lifelong battle (in leaving) over that.

But staying means he forms closer bonds with my kids and has more to prove he’s a ‘responsible and great’ dad.

I wanted to leave over and over but each time I tried I kept getting so scared of what would happen.
I have stayed because I didn’t want to let the kids out of my sight. I thought I was protecting them by sticking by their side. But I have become to numb to even speak sometimes. I can’t even say when I don’t want him doing a certain thing / giving a certain thing to my kids etc. I just stay quiet to avoid the reaction.

It is so horrific that someone can be so calculatedly and deliverately cruel – and the law doesnt see that as a danger to their kids????
It makes me go cold thinking of all the times he’s been so deeply nasty to me and that it was NOT my fault but becuase he CHOSE to do it to me.

I can’t bear the though of him being with my kids like he is with me. punishimg them for nothing. teasing them, berating them, withholding love, pushing his control to make him feel big. I have no evidence of him doing this to them yet becuase htey are too small to argue or disobey – that time will come though, when they’ll start playing up and I am so afraid of what he”l do to them. It feels like a horror movie that won’t end. It’s real and it makes me sick

If the law can’t protect me, how will it protect them?
His digs and bullying is daily now. I am doing well at not caring about what he does to me, I don’t feel it any more, but I am numb in other ways too. I can’t make decisions. I enjoy nothing. I can’t see clearly how to protect my vulnerable children.

But I look back now and keep feeling that if I’d left when I was still pregnant, he’d have less chance of having them half the week now. I was so afriad to go on the run, I was afraid of everything back then.

This is the most confusing and hellish time – I can’t see any way out. Leaving and splitting time with the kids does not look like freedom to me. It looks like loss.

[CarryOn]

Hi everyone
I’m new and Wld like input of people who’ve been through it.

I want to leave, I can’t stand it any more.
But both solicitors I’ve seen Say he’ll have the right to have our kids (both v.small) half the week.

How do I leave if it means the kids will end up alone with him for all that time??

I just can’t feel ok about
It. I feel like I’ll be free, but my kids won’t have me there all the time to protect them. So maybe it’ll be worse for them if I leave.
So what do I do??

Does anyone have a good solicitor who understands and rallies for rights of the victim over abuser?

I’ve got to know I can protect my kids from what he might do after I leave
(Its verbal, no physical but it has got me in the worst place I’ve ever been)

Please help if u can xxx

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