I’m listening and really feel for you. Please now listen to me. (detail removed by moderator) I’ve been in an abusive relationship. I mourn those lost years. I was outgoing, fit active and well balanced at first. Fast forward (detail removed by moderator), I now suffer with anxiety and a host of physical issues, i barely leave the house and have few friends. I feel suicidal at times. In the beginning I made excuses for my partner, his actions and criticisms I put down to poor social skills. I hoped he’d change over time, he didn’t. I thought he’d reciprocate my love and devotion. He never did, he just took more and more of me, learning new and improved ways of manipulating and controlling. He considers himself totally superior and his needs should always come first. Yes, like you, I experienced times of happiness, at family events for example. I put up with the bad times in order to cling to the few good times. The abuse has taken many forms over the years and has deeply hurt me and impacted on my mental and physical health. I’m now ready to leave, such a difficult decision to come to terms with. I share your fear of loneliness but then I lie on my bed, close my eyes and imagine how my days would be spent without him. The thought of leading a life free of him can only benefit me. I reached this point through counselling and support from local organisations. I believe support is imperative. Change is in your hands, you might not be ready yet but I’d hate to think of you or anyone else waiting so long as me before they were to end an abusive relationship. Try and do something nice for yourself today, read a magazine, have a bubble bath, anything that gives you some pleasure. Finally there are nice people in the world that would welcome your friendship.
